*Ibbie*

[tango15]

If there is one thing that has to work perfectly, it's a funeral. I've been to far too many in my life, and have occasionally thought how awful it would be if something went wrong, That is horrendous. No doubt Ibbie would have seen the funny side, as he watched from above.

Thanks for the update Wodders.

[Hydromet]

Thanks for keeping us posted, Wodrick. Funeral sounds like a right royal stuff-up.

[PHXPhlyer]

Thanks for keeping us posted, Wodrick. Funeral sounds like a right royal stuff-up.

Sounds like a continuation of his last few months.

PP

[OFSO]

Thanks Wodrick. Look after yourselves. The OFSOs.

[Wodrick]

I absolutely hate members disappearing and never knowing what or why, can't be alone hence keeping you informed.

[Ex-Ascot]

Thanks for everything Wodders.

Sounds very Greek. They happen very fast on the island, usually the same day. Was talking to a lady at 14.00, dead at 02.00 (I had stopped talking) buried at 09.00.

No coffins in stock they have to make it quick time. Had one where the carpenter was running up behind the procession with the lid. Then they got fed up with carrying it and chucked it onto the back of a pick up truck. Came to lower the coffin into the hole and it wasn't big enough. The gravedigger was thrown down the hole and the priest supervised the enlargement operation from on top of the pile of earth.

Another one they couldn't find the rope to lower the coffin when that was sorted out they couldn't find a spade.

Then there was the one where they were arguing about how to bury the lady. The open coffin was balanced on the mound of earth. Below the mound was a precipice down to the car park. The coffin was at a precarious angle. We could see her rolling out of the coffin at any moment and ending up in the car park.

We had one where a daughter of the deceased was so distraught and wanting to get closer to the action she very nearly followed the coffin into the grave.

Sorry for the thread drift but these things do happen and there is a funny side.

[Hydromet]

Had a demo at the woodwork club by a lady who makes traditional pine coffins. 20 minutes from boards to box.

When my uncle was buried the solemnity of the service was somewhat disturbed by the backhoe idling next to the grave.

I may have told this story before here. Neighbour was on a ship that a late chief of the Navy was being buried at sea from. The body had insufficient ballast and refused to sink, so a small boat was sent out to help it on its way. As they were doing whatever was necessary, across the water, audible to the funeral party, came the clear voice..."Sink, ya bastard."

[1DC]

A long time ago I witnessed the scattering of ashes at sea, from a tug, of a deceased politician who had represented the area for many years. I was on a passing launch and out of respect as they were about to commit the act we stopped until they had finished. It was a very windy day and nobody advised them and they scattered the ashes over the weather side and unfortunately the funeral party were covered in ash instead of the sea.Fortunately the widow thought it was very funny.

I just hope that in Ibbies case His widow was able to handle the chaos ok on the day.

[tango15]

Earlier in the year, I took my wife's ashes to be scattered on the Mersey. The ferry company operates specific sailings, during which they stop for a few moments to allow the scattering. Upon boarding the vessel, I was told to contact 'Colin', who would brief me on the arrangements. This he did, explaining that the ferry would slow right down and do a 180 at a certain point* on the river, at which time the ashes could be released, but warned me to check the wind direction before doing so. All went well, and I was surprised to be the only one doing it, because I know they are quite popular.

* We had a 'You know when you're in Scouseland' moment' when he asked me if my missus was a 'red' or a 'blue'. (A Liverpool or Everton supporter). I told him she was a red, at which point he said, "Well the ferry turns at Bramley Moore Dock (where Everton are having a new stadium built). "Sorry about that lad," was his response. Only in Liverpool...

[Smeagol]

I deposited a mates ashes over our local golf course from about 2500' some years ago. He was both a pilot and a golfer so it was appropriate. Was advised on how to ensure the ashes actually exited the aircraft rather than covering the occupants, a two foot length of 4" plastic pipe gaffer taped to the open top of the ash receptacle.

[FD2]

A friend told me about scattering a friend's ashes over a section of Gatwick Airport. He suspected it wouldn't be quite 'legit' with ATC so left the job to a friend, who requested a high hover away from any buildings. They had forgotten about the recirculation from the main rotor blades and most of the ashes entered the aircraft and coated everything. A sort of Only 'Fools and Horses' moment and a severe bollocking from Air Traffic followed.

I hope Mrs Ibbie gets over the funeral problems in time.

[Hydromet]

I've made a number of cremation 'caskets' for ashes. It's not uncommon for the remaining partner to want to have the ashes buried with them when they go. Mostly, the casket will have a marquetry design relevant to the deceased's interests, but one was a very plain design, made from a beautiful piece of timber collected by the father of the deceased. The only coffin I've made was fitted with wine racks, as it was not for immediate use.

[limeygal]

Thanks for following up on Ibbie. Sounds like it was a real cluster!
Flatmate's father passed away. He had a reputation for being notoriously late for everything, and yes, he was late for his own funeral. When the hearse finally arrived, his widow was heard to say "Well, now that we are all here!"