Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

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prospector
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Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#1 Post by prospector » Wed Aug 21, 2019 8:42 pm

https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/elde ... ge-receipt

What an over reaction to a very obvious fact, obviously not intended to cause offence.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#2 Post by Woody » Wed Aug 21, 2019 9:06 pm

They don’t know who the waiter was, apart from their name being on the receipt [-(
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#3 Post by Capetonian » Wed Aug 21, 2019 9:12 pm

Pathetic.
Where I worked once we'd put things like :
Table No 5 : 2 x UFC (Ugly Fat c***)
Table No 6 : 1 X CEG 1 X TBWBT (1 cross eyed git, one tarty blonde with big tits)

At the end of the evening, after we'd closed we used to sit and go through it and remind ourselves what the abbreviations meant, and end up in stitches of laughter.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#4 Post by llondel » Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:30 pm

Almost worth going there just to see what description you get on the receipt. Except they're now probably too PC.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#5 Post by Slasher » Thu Aug 22, 2019 3:31 am

Our receipt would show:

Table 5: 1 x DOAB (dirty old Aussie bastard) 1 x CLAC (cute little Asian chick)

They'd be spot on!

You realise of course the Riverside Hotel is going to be inundated with customers trying to outdo each other on who gets the most outrageous table description. The Hiddens gave it some positive free advertising!

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#6 Post by 4mastacker » Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:29 am

They really pushed the boat out with that order. 1 x pate between the two of them?? Must be from Yorkshire. ;)))
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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#7 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:40 am

CLACWBT?

CACWBC!

Not the only time, such shorthand was common. Doctors regularly used NFL and NFN. I will explain later if necessary.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#8 Post by Slasher » Thu Aug 22, 2019 8:20 am

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:40 am
CLACWBT?

CACWBC!

No and definitely not!

Ap's Ts aren't B, but not S neither. The only BC at our table is mine! :p

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#9 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Aug 22, 2019 8:24 am

Slasher, correct decode but by no means was I suggesting BT or BC applied to Mr & Mrs S, but just offering further acronyms.😊

And of course you would be AB not AC.

Aussie Bloke and not cute 😀

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#10 Post by reddo » Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:58 am

Ha! At a few of our regular restaurants we're known as the Aussie Pilots or just PILOTS. Definitely no offense taken. :D

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#11 Post by Boac » Thu Sep 19, 2019 9:05 am

Is that because 'you have big watches and pay by cheque'? :))

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#12 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Thu Sep 19, 2019 12:23 pm

At 18, I worked as a wine waiter. Remembering who's where means using whatever description is most obvious and unique, and I did not encounter any of my colleagues deliberately using the descriptions as insults. Some did clothing descriptions, some hair, some faces, etc.
Personally, I would always do a little map of the seating positions, as that's the way my brain works best.
The priority, of course, is to deliver the order correctly first time.

Worth remembering that "pretty one" would probably also mean "all your friends are butt ugly"

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#13 Post by ExSp33db1rd » Thu Sep 19, 2019 10:31 pm

Guest complained to management that the pilots were jumping into the swimming pool naked. If they are naked, how do you know that they are pilots, was the question ? 'cos they all have big watches and little c**ks !

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#14 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Thu Sep 19, 2019 11:04 pm

Anyone who's worn AR5, immersion suit and a g-suit will know an absolutely average c*ck is essential. Slightly longer and it can't be bent enough to be worked out, slightly shorter and it won't project out through all the layers and zips.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#15 Post by Slasher » Thu Sep 19, 2019 11:31 pm

Fox3WheresMyBanana wrote:
Thu Sep 19, 2019 11:04 pm
Slightly longer and it can't be bent enough to be worked out
Yep...and don’t you just hate it? I found while zipped, pointing it straight up is the only way but one’s thoughts must be pure as the driven snow when trying to get the thing out in the air.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#16 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Fri Sep 20, 2019 12:21 am

Alternating layers have zips/openings in orthogonal directions, e.g flying suit vertical, immersion suit horizontal.

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#17 Post by Boac » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:41 am

Anyone who's worn AR5, immersion suit and a g-suit will know an absolutely average c*ck is essential. Slightly longer and it can't be bent enough to be worked out, slightly shorter and it won't project out through all the layers and zips.

I have told the story of the only Lightning pilot I know to have successfully used a piddle pack in flight on a bang seat while so garbed (minus AR5 - we didn't ponce around with those on QRA) - he was Irish (draw your own conclusions). The rest of us got slightly warmer for a short while. :))

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Re: Professional Offence takers? or accurate description?

#18 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Nov 04, 2019 7:35 am

You both forgot the bunny suit with the horizontal, then perhaps the long johns, and even briefs for ball control.

Anyway thank you BOAC as I thought a piddle pack was prefitted. Every day a teaching day.

Obviously similar use a s s V-force pee tube. Pre-use checks, bung secure, check, funnel secure, check. Our co forgot #2. As described he got his friend out of the bondage gear, the skipper looking the other way, laid the bladder on his legs and after some conscious effort gave a sigh of relief.

It took some time to sink in. By then, too late.

The same co who shoved a half eaten chicken leg in his leg pocket only to discover it some weeks later. The smell was pretty awful but he only found it when he put his hand in.😨

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