Never Volunteer

[Woody]

What did you do at work today

[bbvideo=560,315]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QdnElAvpSz0[/bbvideo]

[Capetonian]

Agreed.

SWMBO volunteered to look after a friend's two disgusting little yapdog rats, and vicious cat for two weeks.

SWMBO then goes away for weekend leaving me with the dog and cat ***** and the stink of the food and the litter trays and the yapping and the hissing of the cat which attacked ours. Bags of food all over the place, bowls to trip over.

Animals have now been returned to their home territory, and will be fed and watered there. I have spent the morning expunging my house of every trace of their loathsome stinking presence, cleaning the floors with disinfectant and I feel liberated. I can use the big bathroom now, because I'd put them in there as it seemed the easiest place to clean.

Next, time they go on a meathook.

[AtomKraft]

Back in my Army days....

"Right. Can any one of you idiots play the Piano?"

Me Sir!

"Right. Move that one then"

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Day 1 of weapons training on IOT.
"Who's a marksman?"
4 hands go up
"OK, you can carry the ammo boxes to the range"

There are exceptions.
"Who knows how to design a bridge?"
2 hands go up
"OK, report to the Squadron Commander's office for a special job, You're off routine duties for 3 days. The rest of you - the ablutions need scrubbing"

Inside knowledge is vital.

[Rwy in Sight]

While doing my initial, indoctrination training or whatever is required to do right after presenting to the initial training base we were standing in a line when a sergeant asked for volunteer and initially started to explained the reason but stopped before doing so. I did volunteer along with a couple of other guys and we were sent to watch a soccer/football match or out base against a nearby one. I do not care for soccer/football but every now and then watching it from the stadium is fun and the best part that day was that I was removed from guard duty and enjoy a good night sleep after the match that was fun after all.

[Ex-Ascot]

OM library member. Parachute pilot for RAFSPA. Good volunteering. I did not however volunteer for officer i/c Cpls Club. 'OK, where has the wardrobe gone?', 'well we ran out of charcoal at the BBQ on Sunday Sir'.

[fin]

Another exception. Walking across the company area when 1st Sgt bellows "I need a man who can type sixty words a minute" and my ego got in the way of my common sense, and soon I was carrying a standard office Royal from the mess hall to the orderly room, where I turned to leave. "Wait" sez 1st..."can you really type" Yes I responded honestly, and thereupon became excused from most of the rest of the more onerous parts of basic combat training. Seems he had a two fingered company clerk who was 'short' and a 2 weeker who was a one finger genius and he was already backed up on 'vital' paperwork, like KP and Guard Duty rosters, which somehow skipped my name, without a single comment from anyone.

[ian16th]

OM library member. Parachute pilot for RAFSPA. Good volunteering. I did not however volunteer for officer i/c Cpls Club. 'OK, where has the wardrobe gone?', 'well we ran out of charcoal at the BBQ on Sunday Sir'.

Did you ever consider i/c Camera Club?

I was Hon Sec of the Marham Camera Club. I had a nice young, compliant F/O as i/c.

He signed everything I put in front of him, and we did very well from the PSI fund.

We had a professional photographer doing his NS. In their wisdom the RAF made him a Photographer! The sort of thing that didn't seem to happen very often.
He gave lectures on Wednesday nights, for which we paid him 30/-, that we got from PSI.
In return, he bought the beer after the lecture!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Reminds me of the time they put the only Jewish officer in charge of the hog roast.
Actually, that may have been well thought out. None of it went missing, anyhow.

[4mastacker]

..............
Did you ever consider i/c Camera Club?...................

When SLJs were being dished out in preparation for a Scottish base's annual open day, my boss asked me if I had been detailed for any tasks. "Yes sir! I'm helping run the Camera Club stall". "OK" says boss. I didn't tell him that 'Camera' was actually spelt 'CAMRA' and was located in the Cpl's Club bar.

[Hydromet]

In the reserves, I once had Cpl Blowfly (i/c cleaning greasetraps and soldiers club) suggest the night before that I should volunteer for his work party from time to time. Didn't see why, but as he was in civvy life a publican whose establishment I patronised, I did so out of curiosity.
The work wasn't too unpleasant or strenuous, and the last job was sweeping up the club. We finished work late morning, and he suggested that we have a beer or two (paid for, of course). We were just getting comfortable, when the Bn 2IC entered. I figured we were deep in it, and saw the rest of my military career cleaning grease traps, but Cpl Blowfly just gave the Major a beer, which he happily drank with us.

[Pontius Navigator]

Once found I had been volunteered for a 24 hour trial wearing an S12 Respirator.

Married accompanied, living out, two dogs, two daughters and one wife I had no qualms volunteering a spotty youth in my stead. 'Twas over 30 years ago and I can't remember how I did it. I know it wasn't difficult and I still don't regret it

Sorry Spotty, well not really, you deserved it.

[Sisemen]

Welcome aboard this collection of reprobates Pontious So what did you do wrong at the other place?

[Pontius Navigator]

Close to the wind but not banned there. Must admit had been curious when seeing old friends suddenly banned

[Capetonian]

Welcome here, PN, and as to the administrators of TOP, Wanking Wobbie and all, may the fleas of a billion camels infest their groins and may their fingernails turn into rusty razor blades.