Why do you need submarines?

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TheGreenGoblin
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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#21 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Apr 29, 2021 11:30 am

Boac wrote:
Thu Apr 29, 2021 11:14 am
PN - a few of us would like to know what 'a padded' is? Is it one of these? https://www.thelingeriestoreuk.com/prim ... arine.html

Could entice me to join the RN.
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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#22 Post by Boac » Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:19 pm

I hate to think what his RAF written output was like: Imagine serving on the same Marital Reconsidering squadron and trying to guess what a 'padding' was while at 100ft and 300kts. =))

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#23 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:28 pm

FD2 wrote:
Thu Apr 29, 2021 6:17 am
INS Dakar (formerly HMS Totem) leaving Portsmouth Harbour. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INS_Dakar
Don't buy used British submarines...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMCS_Chicoutimi_(SSK_879)
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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#24 Post by ian16th » Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:54 pm

Why buy 25 year old, well used submarines anyway?
Cynicism improves with age

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#25 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Apr 29, 2021 1:03 pm

ian16th wrote:
Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:54 pm
Why buy 25 year old, well used submarines anyway?
A false economy tis true...
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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#26 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Apr 29, 2021 1:11 pm

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#27 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:04 pm

Yup, FD2. That's the one.

The reason why we pissed a coupla million bucks worth of Uncle Sam's dimes searching for that thing in such an idiotic locus was initiated by the vanity and ambition of one Gyppo.

Around the same date of the casualty going missing, a periscope was thought to have been seen about a dozen miles off the Gyppo coast by some fishermen who duly reported it to the authorites. Some time later a wee war canoe of the Gyppo navy rocked up and tipped a few depth charges overboard blindly and wildly somewhere within a few miles of the reported sighting. No sonar or visual contact with the suspected sub, of course, but I'm sure he made his actions look quite heroic in his daily report.

FastForward a couple of decades: the young lieutenant i/c said war canoe is now an Admiral with enough seniority and family connections within his navy to wangle an invitation to a routine cock&arse party at the US Embassy. He buttonholes the USN attache and tells him the tale of his derring do, knowing that the Septic will quite certainly report the newly discovered 'Int' to Warshington. He also knew that the info would be passed further and further up the food chain and that great interest would be expressed by the zionist-dominated politico-military establishment and that the info would have repercussions.

He was right, of course. Sec'y Defense passed an instruction down the shitpipe and it ended up on the desk of USN's SupSalv, who did the usual thing of issuing a cost-plus contract to the long-term retained contractor, for whom I often did freelance work on juicy dayrates. We did all the interesting stuff, such as Helderberg; KAL007; Shuttle Challenger; the unchocked F-14 which simply rolled off a carrier deck West of Scotland; the first lady-piloted F-14, etc etc etc.

The Septics love to ingratiate themselves with the yehudi influencers in a Murrica because they are so financially and politically powerful within the Beltway, so they informed Tel Aviv of what was going on and invited them to send a rep to advise the searchers in the field. They also roped in Pusser who sent a retired Captain who had hung up his dolphins, but was still available, at a suitable fee of course, for consultancy work. He had been 'Teacher' of two Israeli crews on the T-boats and had known the skipper personally, having trained him on a bespoke Perisher course which had been devised especially for the sons of Abraham.

The Israelis demanded total secrecy about the search as it was still a red hot potato in their domestic politics. In their tradition and religion, human remains must be buried underground, not underwater. The IDF, of course, knew that searching in such an idiotic locus, for a very highly skilled and eminently sensible sub skipper in shallow water close inshore and surrounded by Gyppo and Philistine fishing boats, the search was bound to end in failure and so they just didn't want to raise false hopes for the relatives and other loved ones of the deceased crewmen.

The Gyppo Lieutenant/Admiral wasn't invited! He was left in Zamalek, fantasising that it would be found that he'd heroically destroyed "The Zionist Entity's" latest and sexiest submarine a few months after the 6-day War. He no doubt saw himself as receiving the highest decorations and being in line for the top dog's job soon. Wanker!

The Brit and the still-serving IDF officer and I exchanged sly little very discreet winks on the bridge of the search vessel with every turn of the boustrophedontical search pattern. Only we three knew that the whole thing was utter bollocks and a complete waste of a million dollars. The Septics maintained great enthusiasm though, as they almost always do.

Because I had formed a good personal relationship with the two "foreign" naval guys, and because what had originally been estimated to be a million dollar invoice got inflated to double that by the geometrical nature of expanding a search radius by 40%, both my field boss and I were awarded very fat bonuses by the overall CEO of the parent Company of the contractor firm.

Something I learned from that job, and from others, was that sometimes entirely the wrong things are done, albeit very well, for entirely the wrong reasons, and always at enormous expense to the public purse. I guess that's a characteristic of most of what NATO militaries do.

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#28 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:27 pm

I never worked for Nauticos, though I do like the cut of their jib and a former shipmate is wee but high up nowadays in their hierarchy.

They do bloody good work and they do it well.

Shame about MH370, though. :o)

Oh, and Amelia! :ymdevil:

It's that old thing: if you look in the wrong place, you won't find it.

Come to think of it, that might be a good epitaph for me.

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#29 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:35 pm

Undried Plum wrote:
Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:27 pm
I never worked for Nauticos, though I do like the cut of their jib and a former shipmate is wee but high up nowadays in their hierarchy.

They do bloody good work and they do it well.

Shame about MH370, though. :o)

Oh, and Amelia! :ymdevil:

It's that old thing: if you look in the wrong place, you won't find it.

Come to think of it, that might be a good epitaph for me.
My life's story is the one of the blind man looking for a black cat in a dark room when the cat isn't even there! ;)))
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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#30 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:45 pm

That's what sonar is for, ya dickhead!

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#31 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Apr 29, 2021 4:35 pm

Undried Plum wrote:
Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:45 pm
That's what sonar is for, ya dickhead!
And to think that I thought that pinging in my ear was tinnitus! =))
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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#32 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Apr 29, 2021 5:12 pm

What?

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#33 Post by Boac » Thu Apr 29, 2021 5:27 pm

It's when you hear the return ping, TGG that you need to ....................

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#34 Post by Woody » Thu Apr 29, 2021 6:04 pm

When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#35 Post by PHXPhlyer » Thu Apr 29, 2021 7:04 pm

Nearly a candidate for the Darwin Award thread.

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#36 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Apr 29, 2021 8:05 pm

Boac wrote:
Thu Apr 29, 2021 5:27 pm
It's when you hear the return ping, TGG that you need to ....................
What?

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#37 Post by Boac » Thu Apr 29, 2021 8:06 pm

You mean "What.....What?" Shirley?

Meanwhile, back at the Dakar - do you know if there was any evidence seen in 2000 on the sail of the 'rumoured' damage it might have suffered if supposition were correct?

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#38 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Apr 29, 2021 8:37 pm

No.

The discovery of the wreckage was many years after the time of of my 'search' for it.

The wreckage which you mention is on public display at an Israeli military display.

No official explanation has ever been proffered.

I have no idea what caused the accident.

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Re: Why do you need submarines?

#39 Post by Boac » Fri Apr 30, 2021 12:31 pm


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