Ops-Normal.org

As some of you may know, im going through a rough time...
I'm in the U.S. And my wife is indonesian, living in Balikpapan...
Last I heard from her was in early May when I got an email from her saying she wanted a divorce. I love her more than life itself, and I'm not dealing with it very well. I send her 1 or 2 emails a week telling her how much I love her and how much she means to me but she never replies...
There for I get blind drunk every day... I know it's not the best way to deal with it but that's the way I deal with it... Liquor is the cure for everything...
Not asking for sympathy or suggestions, just letting y'all know that if I post something stupid or hateful it's not me, it's the booze

The wife and me in happier times in BPN...

And yes, I'm crying like a little girl now, and mostly pissed... Alcohol is how I deal with pain...
Really need to visit Cap'n Slasher but cant due to starting a new job..

Sometimes life kicks ya right in the nuts, and it hurts like a motherfvcker...

If it’s any consolation mate, the passage of time helps enormously.

I know, mate but its been 3 months and it hurts more now than it did 3 months ago...
P.S. Thanks for taking the time to reply

You know you have a little network of buddies all over the world who would welcome a visit from you. Time helps, a change of scenery and company helps. So does being outdoors and getting exercise and enjoying the mountains and the beaches.

To be brutally honest, alcohol in these situations is a treacherous friend.

Thanks for taking the time to respond, Mike..
I know alcohol isn't the answer...
But that s how I deal with my beautiful wife wanting a divorce...

I miss my mia...

Not sure what to say that can really help. Keep writing here and make sure you do things you like.

That's really bad news, fly. Your only consolation is how many of us have been along the same route, so understand, at least partially, how you feel. If there's one thing I learned from my previous marriages, it's that "Women and cats do as they please, and men and dogs just have to get used to it."

Oh yes and alcohol is no answer. During the periods of my life when I lived alone, my unbreakable rule was keep one bottle of beer in the house and no wine and definitely no, repeat, no, spirits. False friends, only make you more depressed.

Keep clear of the bottom of the bottle because once you get there you can only go further down. Believe me I know.

Break ups are hard and I guess most here have been there and just when it seems it couldn't get worse it does of course but there is ultimately light at the end of the tunnel. Dont fret the past and let the future work itself out while you look after the here and now.

Talk to your real life buddies and "bederf jouself jou rowwe bliksem"!

"Spoil yourself you rough bastard!




Caco

fly - as many have written, we sympathise, having to a lesser or greater degree been in your situation. I am now 20 years into my fourth marriage and apart from when no.3 left I thought my world was going to end when 1 and 2 walked out. It’s a painful time but there is always light at the end of the tunnel and once you can realise it’s the future and not a train coming the other way then you can move on. I tried alcohol and even blacker thoughts to suppress the pain but that’s not the solution. You will come through this.

Fly - a suggestion: check in here every few days so we know you're OK. We do care ! R

Yes, please do that, and I am about to reply to your PM.

Nothing I can say to help except to agree with others that the booze will not help long term.
Keep talking on here, talking WILL help.

I used to frequent Agony Aunt at TOP when I was in a similar situation to the OP - until TOP closed down AA.
I got help from my GP with 'talking therapy' (CBT).

Thanks for the words of support everyone, and a special thanks to Cape for the P.M.
I'll get over it, just right now I'm all fvcked up

Time wounds all heals....or something like that.

I am currently on # 4.

I too thought my world was ending a few times. #1 we were just too young, #2 we had a child together and our paths just were not aligned, # 3 was all about astrology--I am a Gemini and she was a bitch. And now times are good.

Hang in there.

OFSO wrote: ↑

Mon Aug 06, 2018 12:53 pm

"Women and cats do as they please, and men and dogs just have to get used to it."

- sounds smart, sure, but in reality it's more like 'people do as they please, and others just have to take it'.
And. Essentially we are alone anyway, so good companions is a bonus. One has to be happy to have had them.

Thanks to all who have replied, and special thanks to Cape..this is an email I received today...Dear Mr Greg,

Through this email, we as lawyers in this case represent the interests of our clients Mrs. Mia Nurung to inform you about the breakup of marriage between you and our client who has the basis of the provisions of the religion of Islam and the applicable law in the country of Indonesia, the provisions on which the marriage between you and our client is breakup are among others the fall of divorce according to law Islam without going through you has been fulfilled perfectly and also breaking up your marriage with our clients according to the legal provisions in Indonesia
has also been fulfilled perfectly.
So this notice that we can convey to you and as important notes to you, to not establish any form of communication with our clients because it is very disturbing to our clients' lives, we hope you can understand.
Thank's..

I may or may not reply to the letter tomorrow.
It is all b.s. ... I been honest and faithful always through our marriage..