The Beard

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OFSO
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The Beard

#1 Post by OFSO » Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:21 am

From the 1960's to the 1990's I always had a beard. Fine, reddish-golden, curly and evidence of my virility, it shone in the sun and was not only my pride and joy but that of several young ladies, until seeking a new look subsequent to my final marriage I reverted to being clean-shaven.

With the Festival de Trobadors in Castelló d'Empurias looming up next week, and having polished my sword and ironed my tabard, I decided to stop shaving and let my fine russet beard reappear. But hark ! what is this I see ? A straggly white covering resembling the covering on a dog's scrotum has appeared on my chin. Oh tempa, oh moras. The wife has offered to colour it brown down in her studio (sculpture and painting). Choices, choices. Shave it off again, accept the inevitable signs of age, or have it coloured. Difficult !

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Re: The Beard

#2 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:30 am

Get a wig.

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Re: The Beard

#3 Post by G-CPTN » Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:33 am

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:30 am
Get a wig.
A merkin would be more appropriate . . .

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Re: The Beard

#4 Post by ian16th » Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:41 am

The ultimate sign of age.

Last week had a Whats App video chat with son, saw that he is going grey. :(
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Re: The Beard

#5 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:57 am

Of course Brown Windsor soup would do it.

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Re: The Beard

#6 Post by Mrs Ex-Ascot » Wed Aug 29, 2018 10:58 am

The way I see it you have the following options;

1. Carry on growing the beard and see if it makes you look distinguished even if it is grey.
2. Carry on growing the beard and see if dying it makes it look any better than grey.
3 . Give up and shave it off.
And 4. Consult your better half and do what she thinks best. :D
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Re: The Beard

#7 Post by Cacophonix » Wed Aug 29, 2018 11:24 am

I started cultivating the hirsute unshaved look as a student but my fragile ego never got over the day when my then girlfriend, who coming back after vacation, said with the insouciance that only a cruel woman can muster, "You don't look very well, oh I see, you are trying to grow a beard!" =))

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Re: The Beard

#8 Post by Sisemen » Wed Aug 29, 2018 1:49 pm

Being in the RAF for 30 years I forewent the ability to grow a beard. After I left I didn’t see any point. However my brother grew one for a short while and looked very distinguished. I promised myself that I would grow one and shave my head the day we set off for our Round-Oz grand tour.

(I’m only posting this so that it increases my non “Politics and Controversial” post ratio. I’m still not entirely sure that the black van parked opposite isn’t Alison waiting to sever my legs)

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Re: The Beard

#9 Post by Rwy in Sight » Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:47 pm

There is a distinctive English connection with my bear. I grew the first version while an exchange student in a US High School. Not a very successful one. The second attempt wan on my final year in Coventry University. I thought it would be useful to give me something to caress while arguing for funding for the sports club I was running. It was shaved just before I joined the Air Force.

Finally when I finalized a site I was working on did come on line I re-grew the goatee. As I shave my hair it is the first sign of white hair - which I ignore.

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Re: The Beard

#10 Post by OFSO » Wed Aug 29, 2018 4:05 pm

I didn't mention my bear, Rwy., but that is another story both political and controversial so won't mention it here. Sitting in my parched estate waiting for a nearby thunderstorm to drop some much-needed H2O in our direction. Every storm for weeks has just missed us.

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Re: The Beard

#11 Post by unifoxos » Wed Aug 29, 2018 6:02 pm

Inadvertently growing one at the moment as I'd mislaid the razor for a few days and cba to get out the travelling one. Looks like *****, reminds me of my grandfather all stubbly and scratchy. Now I've found the poxy razor and it needs recharging so I've got to wait until tomorrow to get rid of the fuzz, and go out in public again.
Sent from my tatty old Windoze PC.

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Re: The Beard

#12 Post by OFSO » Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:29 pm

Wife says I look like Steptoe. Not the younger handsome son but the 'orrible old father.

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Re: The Beard

#13 Post by compo » Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:41 am

And I thought you were turning into a Corbynista

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Re: The Beard

#14 Post by Cacophonix » Thu Aug 30, 2018 7:12 am

Rwy in Sight wrote:
Wed Aug 29, 2018 2:47 pm
There is a distinctive English connection with my bear. I grew the first version while an exchange student in a US High School. Not a very successful one. The second attempt wan on my final year in Coventry University. I thought it would be useful to give me something to caress while arguing for funding for the sports club I was running. It was shaved just before I joined the Air Force.

Finally when I finalized a site I was working on did come on line I re-grew the goatee. As I shave my hair it is the first sign of white hair - which I ignore.

I like this typo! :)

I mean why have a beard when you can have bear? A mere beard after all is a bear + a d ! I wonder what type of bear an Englishman would have, bears being pretty scarce on the ground here?

I know Australians like Slasher would probably care for a bare naked lady and forget the hairy kind, and I guess the Canadians here would go for the Grizzly kind of bear. As for the Greeks Rwy in Sight, I know not! Do you have Carpathian bears in your neck of the woods?

Perhaps the Americans would go for this kind of bear!



I guess the only bears we can bear here in the UK are Winnie the Pooh and maybe even that Peruvian immigrant Paddington!

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Re: The Beard

#15 Post by ribrash » Thu Aug 30, 2018 12:41 pm

Have had a full beard for over 30 years.I couldn't afford the cost of returning it to it original colour from its now steel grey colour. A useless titbit regarding beards. I once read that only 1 in 10 men can grow a full beard.Not sure if its the same for women.

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Re: The Beard

#16 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Aug 30, 2018 2:01 pm

Well that is equality of thought for you boyo. Might get you banned here though.

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Re: The Beard

#17 Post by Cacophonix » Thu Aug 30, 2018 3:18 pm

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Thu Aug 30, 2018 2:01 pm
Well that is equality of thought for you boyo. Might get you banned here though.
What precisely is the definition of a full beard? Does it include hair from just below one's eyes, down one's throat, covering chest wig, tackle, down legs to the tops of one's toes?

Personally I always fancied a Dickensian beard but when I grew one I looked more like bloody Mike Gatting! ;)))

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Re: The Beard

#18 Post by OFSO » Thu Aug 30, 2018 5:41 pm

Mine extends from my eyebrows to my pubic area. If not given a daily trim it looks if I am peering through a hedge, not to mention considering a change of religion.

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Re: The Beard

#19 Post by ian16th » Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:00 pm

I didn't shave for over a week once, when I was in 'orspital and didn't feel up to it.

I'd gone in needing a haircut.

When I came out, I didn't feel anywhere near fit until I'd had a shave and a haircut.

I simply felt scruffy.
Cynicism improves with age

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Re: The Beard

#20 Post by OFSO » Fri Aug 31, 2018 1:20 pm

I felt Scruffy at the market café this morning while the wife went off shopping, but she slapped my hand away and went off looking affronted.

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