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Never been a bloke with a beard except when I've been too lazy to shave for anything up to a week. After that i feel like a bum and then suddenly I'll shave it all off.

I tried growing a moustache in my early 20s but couldn't get past the habit of facial twitches fiddling with it. Had sideburns though.

The missus can't stand even a 5 o'clock shadow on me. She says it scratches her face, scruffy, and other places.

Hair is sticking straight out from face, not smooth and silky. Look like a hedgehog so will try what gypsies do with hedgehogs if I can find appropriate clay.

You can always rent out your face to acupuncture clinics OFSO!

I usually pull out any protruding nose hair(s) quickly using me fingers. Is it safe to do that? I mean I know blokes trim their nose jungles but I don't hear of anyone plucking 'em.

Must be safe. I do the same. One good yank......oh God no, more anti-Trump sentiments...

Well, The Beard gets taken out for the Medieval Supper tonight. Its not grown as long as I would have liked, but can't have everything as the man said......................

Currently have a beard, it has come and gone over the years, but it goes with the 'handlebar' moustache that I have had since fist attending university. Never shaved that off in 47 years. The overall look is akin to 'The Laughing Cavalier'. Without it I would not be 'me'.
It is white now instead of the almost black look of my youth, but who cares, we all age.

The Beard went down reasonably well at the Festival de Trobador. Several comely wenches not only gave the usual cheekly kiss but also insisted in rubbing their faces against it. I though the mem' would insisted on having it off afterwards but for the moment its being allowed to stay, although I may have to submit a written retroactive RTCS any day now (Request to Cease Shaving) involving compensation.

The mem' said today she prefers me with the beard "as it hides my face". (Obviously been married too long). Had another positive opinion from a mate at the gym yesterday so guess it is staying.

I see you went for my option 4. Wise choice, now that THE BEARD is to stay,do we get a photo?

From his university days, my brother had a beard.
My mother was showing a photograph (which included my brother with his beard) to his toddler son and asked him to point out his father - which he did.
My mother asked how he had recognised his father amongst many others (without beards) and he said "Because he has his glasses on . . . "

Sadly Mme Ex-Ascot, it's a stealth beard. Doesn't show up at all on photos. However from the ladies I have greeted recently in the Spanish style*, approval has been unanimous.

* Multiple cheek kisses and gentle squeeze of hand on the lower back.

Once upon a time on a beautiful sun drenched south pacific island paradise the colonial Head Of Post exceeded his authority by commanding me to have a haircut and shave before HM arrived, I held out two years on the haircut and I am still going on the shave.

Mem' now says my beard is 'dry' (which it usually is except in the shower) and needs 'conditioner'. WTF ? Never anticipated this when I started to grow it.

Walking around socialist Islington in the evening several complete strangers smiled at me and said 'good evening'. A friend then pointed out that with my grey beard I bear a slight resemblance to....no, I can't go on. Just hope I don't bump into the lovely Diane Abbott.

I usually pull out any protruding nose hair(s) quickly using me fingers. Is it safe to do that? I mean I know blokes trim their nose jungles but I don't hear of anyone plucking 'em.

Well I hope it's safe, been doing it for years. And the ones that grow off the edges of my ears. Although I usually get all nose/ear hair kept in some sort of trim by judicious use of the hair trimmer incorporated in my electric shaver.

Just make sure your nose is tightly attached when you yank the embedded nostril hair. Remember Michael Jackson.

Again tonight, a complete stranger (but evidently of socialist leanings) called out to me across the road "how you doing mate ? Everything alright ?"

Either the beard must come off, or I shall stand for Parliament and marry La Bellissima Abbott.

If we were meant to shave, we'd have been born without beards.

I'm another 'pull nose hair out by the roots' guy. Works for me, but I try to avoid doing it when my wifey is watching.

If you yank a few out each day, it keeps things under control.

My old OC, a certain Major J. Orde, used to have hairy cheeks, kinda under his eyes. He just shaved straight down from his sideburns and let the rest grow. I thought it rather suited him, but when I tried it, it made me look like a monkey.

At the Conference yesterday my New (ISH) Beard was fondled by the loveliest lady barrister I know, which made it all worthwhile. Then she said her father also has a beard, so it was probably paternal....I'm probably older than her father too.