Re: Coronabollocks..
Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2021 11:31 am
This highly secret account of a recent Cobra meeting in Downing Street was smuggled out in an aromatic brown cylindrical container by Dilyn, PM Carrie's canine companion who will in the fulness of time prove more loyal and faithful to her than her well known spouse.
It's a long read but confirms my suspicions that the TV shows "Yes Minister/Yes Prime Minister" were simply drill exercises for the real thing sometime in the future.
Note the reference to increasing the cT thresholds for the Probable Crap Result 'tests' and how this can be used to swing the fear factor in whatever direction the 'circus' chooses.
Zero Covid?
Call an emergency COBRA meeting!
Something had happened that no-one could ever have predicted. Covid-19 had disappeared completely from the UK. Viruses are notoriously unpredictable and Covid in particular had been full of surprises but this latest twist in the tale had baffled everyone, not least of all the UK’s top scientists. The country had gone from over 24,000 cases a day to zero in the space of a week. The Prime Minister was naturally overjoyed but at the same time cautious of provoking too much excitement amongst an elated public. The Cabinet Secretary, the most senior civil servant, advised the Prime Minister to call a COBRA meeting to discuss the possible implications of this very welcome but quite startling development.
Something didn’t seem quite right though, as the Prime Minister walked into the briefing room. He expected all his colleagues to be smiling and cheering but instead they all had grim expressions on their faces. His heart suddenly sank. So eager was he to discover the reason for this surprisingly sombre mood that he did not bother with the usual formalities to commence the meeting.
“You’re not going to tell me they’ve found some more cases somewhere, are you?” The Prime Minister asked the Cabinet Secretary, anxiously.
“I only wish that were true,” said the Cabinet Secretary.
“Why on earth would you want that?” asked the Prime Minister, quite perplexed.
“Well erm...” The Cabinet Secretary cleared his throat. “Zero Covid is something the Civil Service was not really expecting and we have not made any emergency plans for such an eventuality.”
“Emergency plans?” enquired the Prime Minister, in disbelief. “Covid was the emergency! The emergency has disappeared, for heaven’s sake!”
The Cabinet Secretary elucidated:
“For quite some time now we have been dealing with a national crisis, which we were told was going to be with us for years. We cannot simply stop dealing with it just because it isn’t there anymore. You see the Civil Service is like a huge ship with a tiny rudder. Once it has taken a certain course it becomes very difficult to turn the ship around. Covid is what we do now. It’s how we operate. Easing restrictions is one thing but coming out of the Covid crisis completely is fraught with difficulties. It makes coming out of the EU look like a walk in the park.”
“I’ve never heard such nonsense,” said the Prime Minister. “How can you deal with an emergency that isn’t there?”
“Oh, you’d be surprised, Prime Minister. The Civil Service has had years of practice with that sort of thing.”
“It’s absurd!” the Prime Minister exclaimed. “Why on earth can we not just go back to normal again if there is no threat anymore?”
“Our economy, our politics and our way of life is based on a united effort to beat Covid,” said the Cabinet Secretary. “If we actually achieve that aim then the whole fabric that ties our society together disintegrates. Without Covid we’re in a very precarious position.”
“I cannot believe what I am hearing,” said the Prime Minister, turning to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. “So what are your thoughts on this, Chancellor?”
“Well you know how I feel about lockdown, Prime Minister”, said the Chancellor. “I would love to end all restrictions and commit to never shutting the country down again, but having spoken to my Permanent Secretary this morning I realise it is not that simple. Just ending the crisis suddenly would be disastrous. We’ve put everything into it and the economy is now dependent upon it. Our traditional industries have all declined but we have had major new growth in the Covid sector. As you know the pharmaceutical industry is currently thriving. Their profits are reliant on vaccination take up which in turn is reliant on people’s fear of the virus. If we take that fear away then shares will start to plummet. The same is true of the test and trace industry. It’s going to be very difficult to convince everyone to get tested for something that doesn’t exist. And how do we persuade them to download all the latest Covid apps? Then of course we have Covid advertising, Covid insurance and the vast array of Covid safety products including hand sanitiser, antiviral cleaning products, Perspex screens, disposable facemasks, washable facemasks, layered facemasks, filtered facemasks, fashion facemasks…”
“All right, all right, I get the picture,” said the Prime Minister. “But surely we cannot give our wholehearted support to businesses selling products that are unnecessary to tackle a problem that doesn’t exist. Besides which, we’re throwing billions of pounds of public money into these projects. The Government cannot justify propping up industries that have failed due to their own lack of foresight... unless it’s the banking industry of course. But in any case that was the Labour Government.”
“To be fair we supported them at the time, Prime Minister. Besides which, it would be terribly irresponsible of us to destabilise these new developing industries. Inevitably there would be thousands of job losses and a stock market crash, just at the time we are trying to Build Back Better. Ending Covid now would be a complete and utter disaster, Prime Minister.”
“What poppycock! We’ve been trying to beat this thing for what seems like an eternity and now we’ve beaten it you’re telling me we cannot live without it.”
Part 2 follows...
It's a long read but confirms my suspicions that the TV shows "Yes Minister/Yes Prime Minister" were simply drill exercises for the real thing sometime in the future.
Note the reference to increasing the cT thresholds for the Probable Crap Result 'tests' and how this can be used to swing the fear factor in whatever direction the 'circus' chooses.
Zero Covid?
Call an emergency COBRA meeting!
Something had happened that no-one could ever have predicted. Covid-19 had disappeared completely from the UK. Viruses are notoriously unpredictable and Covid in particular had been full of surprises but this latest twist in the tale had baffled everyone, not least of all the UK’s top scientists. The country had gone from over 24,000 cases a day to zero in the space of a week. The Prime Minister was naturally overjoyed but at the same time cautious of provoking too much excitement amongst an elated public. The Cabinet Secretary, the most senior civil servant, advised the Prime Minister to call a COBRA meeting to discuss the possible implications of this very welcome but quite startling development.
Something didn’t seem quite right though, as the Prime Minister walked into the briefing room. He expected all his colleagues to be smiling and cheering but instead they all had grim expressions on their faces. His heart suddenly sank. So eager was he to discover the reason for this surprisingly sombre mood that he did not bother with the usual formalities to commence the meeting.
“You’re not going to tell me they’ve found some more cases somewhere, are you?” The Prime Minister asked the Cabinet Secretary, anxiously.
“I only wish that were true,” said the Cabinet Secretary.
“Why on earth would you want that?” asked the Prime Minister, quite perplexed.
“Well erm...” The Cabinet Secretary cleared his throat. “Zero Covid is something the Civil Service was not really expecting and we have not made any emergency plans for such an eventuality.”
“Emergency plans?” enquired the Prime Minister, in disbelief. “Covid was the emergency! The emergency has disappeared, for heaven’s sake!”
The Cabinet Secretary elucidated:
“For quite some time now we have been dealing with a national crisis, which we were told was going to be with us for years. We cannot simply stop dealing with it just because it isn’t there anymore. You see the Civil Service is like a huge ship with a tiny rudder. Once it has taken a certain course it becomes very difficult to turn the ship around. Covid is what we do now. It’s how we operate. Easing restrictions is one thing but coming out of the Covid crisis completely is fraught with difficulties. It makes coming out of the EU look like a walk in the park.”
“I’ve never heard such nonsense,” said the Prime Minister. “How can you deal with an emergency that isn’t there?”
“Oh, you’d be surprised, Prime Minister. The Civil Service has had years of practice with that sort of thing.”
“It’s absurd!” the Prime Minister exclaimed. “Why on earth can we not just go back to normal again if there is no threat anymore?”
“Our economy, our politics and our way of life is based on a united effort to beat Covid,” said the Cabinet Secretary. “If we actually achieve that aim then the whole fabric that ties our society together disintegrates. Without Covid we’re in a very precarious position.”
“I cannot believe what I am hearing,” said the Prime Minister, turning to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. “So what are your thoughts on this, Chancellor?”
“Well you know how I feel about lockdown, Prime Minister”, said the Chancellor. “I would love to end all restrictions and commit to never shutting the country down again, but having spoken to my Permanent Secretary this morning I realise it is not that simple. Just ending the crisis suddenly would be disastrous. We’ve put everything into it and the economy is now dependent upon it. Our traditional industries have all declined but we have had major new growth in the Covid sector. As you know the pharmaceutical industry is currently thriving. Their profits are reliant on vaccination take up which in turn is reliant on people’s fear of the virus. If we take that fear away then shares will start to plummet. The same is true of the test and trace industry. It’s going to be very difficult to convince everyone to get tested for something that doesn’t exist. And how do we persuade them to download all the latest Covid apps? Then of course we have Covid advertising, Covid insurance and the vast array of Covid safety products including hand sanitiser, antiviral cleaning products, Perspex screens, disposable facemasks, washable facemasks, layered facemasks, filtered facemasks, fashion facemasks…”
“All right, all right, I get the picture,” said the Prime Minister. “But surely we cannot give our wholehearted support to businesses selling products that are unnecessary to tackle a problem that doesn’t exist. Besides which, we’re throwing billions of pounds of public money into these projects. The Government cannot justify propping up industries that have failed due to their own lack of foresight... unless it’s the banking industry of course. But in any case that was the Labour Government.”
“To be fair we supported them at the time, Prime Minister. Besides which, it would be terribly irresponsible of us to destabilise these new developing industries. Inevitably there would be thousands of job losses and a stock market crash, just at the time we are trying to Build Back Better. Ending Covid now would be a complete and utter disaster, Prime Minister.”
“What poppycock! We’ve been trying to beat this thing for what seems like an eternity and now we’ve beaten it you’re telling me we cannot live without it.”
Part 2 follows...