Chaos in the UK

[ian16th]

Mmm, Cape don’t think that you should check the Cricket World Cup Match at Headingley today, not going to be good for your Blood Pressure

2 teams of white men, watched by a crowd of very predominately white people.

[Woody]

Mmm, Cape don’t think that you should check the Cricket World Cup Match at Headingley today, not going to be good for your Blood Pressure

2 teams of white men, watched by a crowd of very predominately white people.

Pakistan v Bangladesh, don’t think that’s the case Ian

[ian16th]

Mmm, Cape don’t think that you should check the Cricket World Cup Match at Headingley today, not going to be good for your Blood Pressure

2 teams of white men, watched by a crowd of very predominately white people.

Pakistan v Bangladesh Afghanistan, don’t think that’s the case Ian

I was watching the Kiwi's v the Convicts at St. Johns Wood!

[Slasher]

Second decision Carol Vordeman as Education Minister

I would like to feel up work very closely with that Minister to educate the masses on the positive benefits of large mammary development.

[Boac]

Vice PM: Boac

- any chance I could do it AM as well?

[Pontius Navigator]

She has an over inflated sense of importance

[Capetonian]

Apart from having big tits and a big arse, who is she?

[Pontius Navigator]

She used to be the fat chick on Countdown. Good at maths but other than that not a lot. Then she ditched her husband, went on a crash diet, and became every schoolboy's wet dream. Later she has been appointment car Honourary Gp Capt in the VR for Air Cadets. She fills a No 1 uniform and flying suit to perfection.

Never liked her for the way she ditched her husband .

[Capetonian]

Never heard of her, or of Countdown, sounds like a quiz show?

I just looked her up, she's 58, I suppose she doesn't look bad for her age, but she still looks like an old tart.

[Pontius Navigator]

High brow quiz show. Contestants and panel. Letters picked at random - vowel or constanant - make the longest word.

Ditto numbers, use all the numbers to equal the target number.

I think your prize was winning rather than money or award but admit never watching it deliberately.

And another reason why I don't like her, get married, get nice new name, get divorced, keep name.

[Boac]

I assume "two from the top" was too much for him? I wonder what "one from the bottom" would have been like?

[OFSO]

"Countdown" was too clever for me. My wits are not that sharp ! Same goes for Vorderman, her brain's clock speed is at least twice mine.

[Stoneboat]

Old news, but someone please tell me this is a spoof.

Dunfermline man arrested for wielding a potato peeler.

[Undried Plum]

I routinely carry a Leatherman multitool in my small backpack which I always wear when walking in Edinburgh. It never occurred to me that it could possibly be construed as being some kind of weapon.

The bunch of keys in my pocket can very easily be used as a weapon by placing a key between each finger in a fist. Could they be confiscated too?

Nuts!

[OFSO]

I also carry a Dyas multitool on my keyring. I was prevented from entering the Courts of Law, family division, in London earlier this year as it was an 'offensive weapon'.

[Pontius Navigator]

Apart from the two screwdrivers, a Lancashire Peeler could certainly have an eye out.

When I used to do DIY in our last home I might pop into the village on my bike to get some screws or something. Might have gone with a couple of stabbing implements and a garrote etc. (Screw driver and steel tape).

According to our friend who just died, everyone of us carries a lethal weapon. He said he could cut your throat with a credit card.

An umbrella can be nasty, especially with a sharp metal tip. Don't get on the wrong side of a Nordic Walking stick, worse than a ski stick which has a basket. Even a rolled up newspaper can be a weapon.

I guess that is why the like of knives, scissors and potato peelers are sold in blister pack and tie wrapped to card.

[Krystal n Chips]

Cricket being on the long and growing list of things in which I have 0 interest, I won't be. I happen to know Headingley is Leeds, and probably mostly Indians - they are fine people and I would exempt most of them from my *sh*t* list.

Alas, Headingley is in Leeds, it's not actually another name for Leeds...hope this alleviates your confusion. And you might want to check the demographics as well.....there again, it's as much a dump as the rest of Leeds.

[Pontius Navigator]

Too good to be true

[Woody]

Now Putin is going to be worried

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-48919085

[Slasher]

The bunch of keys in my pocket can very easily be used as a weapon by placing a key between each finger in a fist.

Yes I've often considered that too. But given the bluntness of the average car or house key, to be effective as a neutraliser one would have to shove it hard into the attacker's neck in the soft bit located above the Adam's Apple and behind the forward jawbone.