The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

[Ex-Ascot]

I don't belive it. Two f...ing frog bitches sitting in our woofter mate's chair. So he had to sit in a chair a little further from our table. We had to speak across them. They complained about this. I told them we live here and F. Off. Woofter told them plenty of other tables to sit at. They shut up and buggered off.

Mrs Ex-Ascot had to restrain me from being more verbal.

[Rwy in Sight]

Frogs don't speak English (at least when their life is not in danger or money involved) nevertheless I am impressed they understand what you are talking about!

[1DC]

Arrived at Le Havre once when i was at sea and called the pilot boat for an hour in English with no reply, we changed the watch and the second mate took over, he spoke fluent french. He called in french and the pilot replied in perfect English "We wondered how long it would take before you got the message",then told us to anchor because we weren't berthing for three days..

[Capetonian]

Frogs will only speak to you in your language or be pleasant to you when they are trying to get their filthy hands into your wallet or your underwear!

[Pontius Navigator]

Once, flying low level off the Shetlands we were called up as follows:

"'awk 'awk dis it 'ool 'ool"

Skipper responded to the French submarine:

"Tool tool this is Hawk Hawk . . . "

Silence. Someone else tried, silence. Someone else tried, ditto. I said let me have a go.

"'ool dis is 'awk go 'heed"

Instant response!

[boing]

We had trouble contacting the Canadian controllers while flying off the Canadian coast between Seattle and Anchorage. The Flight Engineer happened to be French Canadian so we jokingly suggested he tried calling since he spoke the language. His comment was that as soon as the western Canadian controller recognised his French Canadian accent we would get a heading of 270 and then no further communications.


.

[llondel]

Sweltering hot day again today, looks to have peaked around 40C again. Bit of excitement up the hill, seems there was a grass fire that spread and sadly took out one, possibly two houses. Three fire engines and a news helicopter turned up. The smoke was very visible from here, it was about 400m away.

[ricardian]

Spent yesterday (Tuesday) in Kirkwall for a hospital appointment with a chap who is going to get me some hand-made shoes because my type 2 diabetes has caused neuropathy in my feet. He estimates it will take 5 weeks for them to arrive. I have to go to Kirkwall again on Thursday for a dental appointment. Sadly, I could not get either appointment changed. However, looking on the bright side, I will have had two bar lunches this week.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Overheard near Rambouilliet. " Paris control this is QANTAS 9, passed Deejonn at 15, F/L 310, estimating Rambo..... estimating Ram ....... estimating Ramb...... estimating Rambollox at 43." "er.... saygain QANTAS" " Jeez, I just told ye (then repeats ) " followed by a perfect British accent " That's right cobber, you TELL them"

[Slasher]

I speak Frog fluently. First time I hit Paris in late 1989 I wondered why I spent 5 years at high school learning their bloody lingo. It's pronounced "wi" you pretentious wankers not "waah". in a DF shop near the Louvre I asked in Frog where the good stuff was. He replied you can come out back but your amis can't. I got the clear impression I was ok because I spoke their girly lingo but the capt and F/E didn't and were excluded. Told him in Oz English to stick it up his arse and we left. Never darkened the place ever again. Vagins the lot of 'em!

When I did the 320 course in Tooloose I didn't utter a single word of Frog to the personnel there - not even a merci or oui. Yelled out "c'est de la merde totale!" a lot when I got pissed off though.

Only exception was this tres magnifique 43yo local femme I met at a bar not far from the Citadines where I stayed. But that's another story.

[Rwy in Sight]

I speak Frog fluently. First time I hit Paris in late 1989 I wondered why I spent 5 years at high school learning their bloody lingo. It's pronounced "wi" you pretentious wankers not "waah". in a DF shop near the Louvre I asked in Frog where the good stuff was. He replied you can come out back but your amis can't. I got the clear impression I was ok because I spoke their girly lingo but the capt and F/E didn't and were excluded. Told him in Oz English to stick it up his arse and we left. Never darkened the place ever again. Vagins the lot of 'em!

When I did the 320 course in Tooloose I didn't utter a single word of Frog to the personnel there - not even a merci or oui. Yelled out "c'est de la merde totale!" a lot when I got pissed off though.

Only exception was this tres magnifique 43yo local femme I met at a bar not far from the Citadines where I stayed. But that's another story.

They are nasty when in France/Belgium but they become very amicable when they are addressed in French when away. I do use French with them for a simple reason: it takes a huge effort to understand what they are saying in English (accent wise) and for me to slow down sufficiently to be understood both issues solved when French is used.

Slasher regarding that lady: I am surprised than a french lady was how do say it sufficiently ... equipped to be très magnifique. They tend to disadvantaged in this department.

[Capetonian]

I can also speak Frog fluently, I just refuse to do so unless it suits me. Why should I lower myself to speak their girly lisping language? If they want to speak to me, they can use my language. Should I want to speak to them, which is rare and unlikely, then I might use theirs.

Despite speaking the language, I have great difficulty in understanding wtf they are crapping on about, although I understand the words and sentences, it's the effed up ideas and the way they express themselves that make no sense to me. Working with Frogs for a while made me realise the utter impossibility of any successful cooperation between the two nations. That is aside from the fact that they are lazy, devious, sly, thieving, backstabbing, buckpassing tossers. I can also discuss their bad qualities if anyone is interested!

Rwy in Sight is correct, the females are not usually generously equipped in the mammary department, they are usually scrawny and emaciated.

[Pontius Navigator]

our French twins, yup, scrawny and emaciated, and no children. We didn't tell them that muffkers, socks and co wynciette PJs tend to inhibit breeding.

Any way, she told me I speak very. quickly.

Later, in the market she met a friend and spoke only one word

Bonjourcommeous or something similar and longer.

[Slasher]

Slasher regarding that lady: I am surprised than a french lady was how do say it sufficiently ... equipped to be très magnifique. They tend to disadvantaged in this department.

RiS and Cape I know the scrawny whiney ones you mean. But I'm sure I related the full story about the adorable Brigette Peignoir in Toulouse in a past post? Might've been at TOP.

I won't go on with the nitty gritty here. All I'll say she had a great way of having her hair, the hey! hey! look of her eyebrows, eyes legs and bum to die for. and as for her chest attributes - they were a cup short of my minimum ideal size but they were certainly tres magnifique enough for me not to bitch about! Hands crafted from pure silk. Even her voice was melodic and deeply feminine.

She was a 43yo divorcee. About 5 foot 9. Well proportioned with just a tad of acceptable overtumminess. Never took a pic of her. She wouldn't let me.

[Rwy in Sight]

Slasher regarding that lady: I am surprised than a french lady was how do say it sufficiently ... equipped to be très magnifique. They tend to disadvantaged in this department.

RiS and Cape I know the scrawny whiney ones you mean. But I'm sure I related the full story about the adorable Brigette Peignoir in Toulouse in a past post? Might've been at TOP.

I won't go on with the nitty gritty here. All I'll say she had a great way of having her hair, the hey! hey! look of her eyebrows, eyes legs and bum to die for. and as for her chest attributes - they were a cup short of my minimum ideal size but they were certainly tres magnifique enough for me not to bitch about! Hands crafted from pure silk. Even her voice was melodic and deeply feminine.

She was a 43yo divorcee. About 5 foot 9. Well proportioned with just a tad of acceptable overtumminess. Never took a pic of her. She wouldn't let me.

Great description Slash. I don't remember the story of B.P. A trainer in the Airbus?

[Slasher]

No I met her in a bar not far from the Citadines where I was staying for the 320 course. She had her own dress shop business.

She was all class - in looks, dress, hair, everything.

[Ibbie]

Good morning.

Cloudy and was very windy earlier. Clouds are stuck on top of mountains, so may take some time to bugger off.

Returned from a trip for supplies to find a couple of Yank god botherers hovering outside mi casa.

Had to warn them of three things that would occur once I opened my front door: 1. Ed would be out to see them off. 2. I'm a hunanist and don't discuss religion. 3. As President, that the Community did not react well to unsolicited canvasing of any discription and that a resident may call the police.
They went.

[OFSO]

I used to chat to them when (a) I was alone and (b) one of them was a dishy German blonde. Then she left and was replaced by boring old blokes who were told to remove me from their list, which they did.

[Ex-Ascot]

Morning folks, frog bloody city. All walkers, did I spell that wrong? Our fault I know but they will not spend any money here. The whole point of promoting walking spring and autumn is to extend the holiday season to increase island income.

Nice day. Went down to the port early before the tourists got out of bed.

[Wodrick]

morning all,
same wx, guess is a rather low 24.

Woken by a dog vomiting (H) which, when I cleaned it up was a lump of fabric from a toy.
They'll eat anything.

Nothing planned.





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