How not to recruit...

[OFSO]

OFSO has been in a meeting all day. One topic was member states reduction of remuneration and benefits in OECD, ESA, CoE etc....and NATO. These are not EU institutions which generally speaking pay fat salaries to staff, but bread-and-butter organisations employing ordinary guys at ordinary wages. As ever, Governments trying to run things on the cheap. Well....there's no war in the offing, is there.... Who did Kipling say we'd have to call on when the band begins to play ?

[ian16th]

Tommy

I went into a public 'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, " We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' " Tommy, go away " ;
But it's " Thank you, Mister Atkins," when the band begins to play
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's " Thank you, Mister Atkins," when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' " Tommy, wait outside ";
But it's " Special train for Atkins " when the trooper's on the tide
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
O it's " Special train for Atkins " when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap.
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an` Tommy, 'ow's yer soul? "
But it's " Thin red line of 'eroes " when the drums begin to roll
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's " Thin red line of 'eroes, " when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an` Tommy, fall be'ind,"
But it's " Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's " Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an` Chuck him out, the brute! "
But it's " Saviour of 'is country " when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An 'Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool - you bet that Tommy sees!

[Pontius Navigator]

Up at Otterburn, cabbage kit country, a number of us say at a table eating lunch. In came a bunch of brown jobs similarly attired in cabbage kit. They found a table as far from as possible.

Mine host came over and asked if we would move over and join them as we would disturb the locals, as if they weren't use to pongoes and look alikes.

We told him to stuff off, they're army.

[llondel]

In my field too many recruiters just do acronym matching. The fact that I once worked on something that isn't common (and isn't something I want to do full-time) means that I get spammed by clueless recruiters for that sort of job. They clearly don't bother actually reading a CV because of the number of junior jobs I get offered, simply because of one or two acronyms when a quick glance would show that with 35 years' experience I probably wouldn't be interested. I used to respond politely and say no thanks because one never knows when one might need a recruiter's services, but this particular bunch I don't bother now.