Friday Jokes
- unifoxos
- Capt
- Posts: 961
- Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:36 am
- Location: Twycross Zoo, or thereabouts
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Re: Friday Jokes
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
AKA suffering from Premature Kojakulation
AKA suffering from Premature Kojakulation
Sent from my tatty old Windoze PC.
- barkingmad
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5497
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Re: Friday Jokes
GOSH ! ! A Fairey Battle! A not very successful bomber, with 3 crew, which IIRC could just about haul a couple of 500 -pounders some distance to upset the enemy.
I was part of the expedition to the interior of Iceland during the ‘Cod War’ in 1972 to recover the wreckage of one which is now lovingly restored to static display standard at the RAF museum at Hendon.
Thanks for the memory, Ric!
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
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- Location: Gravity be the clue
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Re: Friday Jokes
BM, massive deviation but we were in the Mess watching one of the war in the air films in TV. One shot was a Fairy Battle being bombed up in France. The procedure was for a 100lb bomb to be balanced on their armourer's back and then pressed up to the carrier. A voice rang out "my God, that's me".
It was our armament officer, Fitzmaurice; I was dating one of his daughter's at the time.
It was our armament officer, Fitzmaurice; I was dating one of his daughter's at the time.
- barkingmad
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5497
- Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2015 9:13 pm
- Location: Another Planet
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Re: Friday Jokes
P N, great memory!
I’m all for the occasional bit of variation or deviation, I remember it from the aircraft instruments grind skule!
I’m all for the occasional bit of variation or deviation, I remember it from the aircraft instruments grind skule!
Re: Friday Jokes
Coming soon to a pub near you:
Re: Friday Jokes
A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.
A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, has watched the whole event.
Laura, addressing the Harley rider says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”
Miss Kuenssberg replied, "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a BBC journalist, you know, and tomorrow's news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies, "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit”, the journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.
BBC Headline: RIGHT WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.
A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, has watched the whole event.
Laura, addressing the Harley rider says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”
Miss Kuenssberg replied, "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a BBC journalist, you know, and tomorrow's news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies, "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit”, the journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.
BBC Headline: RIGHT WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH.
Re: Friday Jokes
An old one:
Naval Aviator Eye Exam
The School of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania conducted a survey called, "What really do you see?"
Study the pic for 5 seconds
Notice anything?
Results of the survey:
100% of Male Naval Aviators failed this test. They were distracted by the woman's large breasts.
100% of the Female Naval Aviators also failed this test. They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.
What they all missed – there is a mouse on one of the doughnuts.
Naval Aviator Eye Exam
The School of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania conducted a survey called, "What really do you see?"
Study the pic for 5 seconds
Notice anything?
Results of the survey:
100% of Male Naval Aviators failed this test. They were distracted by the woman's large breasts.
100% of the Female Naval Aviators also failed this test. They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.
What they all missed – there is a mouse on one of the doughnuts.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6002
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6002
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Not a joke.
Huge uptick in wine and caffeine consumption here.
Coffee, iced tea then wine.
Like the t-shirt I saw in an airport (worn by a nice looking lady)...Caffeine til Cocktails
PP
Huge uptick in wine and caffeine consumption here.
Coffee, iced tea then wine.
Like the t-shirt I saw in an airport (worn by a nice looking lady)...Caffeine til Cocktails
PP
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6002
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Could they put this on these days? Don't think so!!
Albert Steptoe speaks his mind:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i6I-fz ... Nkrxo/view
Albert Steptoe speaks his mind:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i6I-fz ... Nkrxo/view
- Stoneboat
- Capt
- Posts: 1947
- Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2015 9:09 pm
- Location: 50-13.5N/66-16.0W
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- Age: 77
Re: Friday Jokes
Or how about this Frank Zappa classic, any chance of getting airplay?
Re: Friday Jokes
Excellent, I'd ever never seen that Frog-bashing episode of Steptoe and Son before.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6002
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6002
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6002
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER