Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
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- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Did you know that "dog food lid" spelt backwards is "dildo of god"?
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18718
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
In a rather bizarre accident last week, my cousin was run over by her own car as she disembarked. She found it highly amusing when I asked if she had at least got the name of the driver...
(Not seriously hurt.)
(Not seriously hurt.)
Re: Friday Jokes
Will she sue?
- CharlieOneSix
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5028
- Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:58 pm
- Location: NE Scotland
- Gender:
- Age: 79
Re: Friday Jokes
A vicar of several rural parishes was driving back to his vicarage one night after calling at parishioners' houses. It was very dark and he was feeling tired.
As he rounded a bend on the winding country lane he suddenly saw a cyclist right in front of him. He slammed on the brakes and hauled the steering wheel over to the right. The cyclist was understandably shocked by this sudden threat, as the car missed him by inches. He swerved to the left, hit an embankment and fell off.
The vicar jumped out of the car to check that the cyclist was alright. The cyclist picked himself up, dusted himself down and declared himself to be unhurt. However, it was too dark to properly tell the state of the bike.
The vicar promised to pay for the cost of any damage and gave the cyclist one of his visiting cards, which had his name and phone number on it. When the cyclist got home he looked at the card and was somewhat perturbed when he read:
‘Sorry to have missed you. I will try again tomorrow.’
As he rounded a bend on the winding country lane he suddenly saw a cyclist right in front of him. He slammed on the brakes and hauled the steering wheel over to the right. The cyclist was understandably shocked by this sudden threat, as the car missed him by inches. He swerved to the left, hit an embankment and fell off.
The vicar jumped out of the car to check that the cyclist was alright. The cyclist picked himself up, dusted himself down and declared himself to be unhurt. However, it was too dark to properly tell the state of the bike.
The vicar promised to pay for the cost of any damage and gave the cyclist one of his visiting cards, which had his name and phone number on it. When the cyclist got home he looked at the card and was somewhat perturbed when he read:
‘Sorry to have missed you. I will try again tomorrow.’
The helicopter pilots' mantra: If it hasn't gone wrong then it's just about to...
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
- Location: Gravity be the clue
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- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Dunno. I give in.... Too clever for me.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Sad news from Disney Studios.
CNN reported that the new JET BLACK movie portraying the African American version of SNOW WHITE has been canceled due to the all seven dwarfs DEALER,
STEALER,MUGGER,FORGER,DRIVE BY,HOMEBOY and SHANK having refused to sing" HI HO,HI HO" as it offend's black prostitutes and there is certainly no way they they are going to sing " it's off to work we go "
CNN reported that the new JET BLACK movie portraying the African American version of SNOW WHITE has been canceled due to the all seven dwarfs DEALER,
STEALER,MUGGER,FORGER,DRIVE BY,HOMEBOY and SHANK having refused to sing" HI HO,HI HO" as it offend's black prostitutes and there is certainly no way they they are going to sing " it's off to work we go "
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
No Other Place To Put This
https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/09/politics ... index.html
New York Times: White House reached out to South Dakota governor about adding Trump to Mount Rushmore
By Jamie Ehrlich, CNN
Updated 4:07 PM ET, Sun August 9, 2020
NYT: WH reached out about adding Trump to Mount Rushmore
NOW PLAYING
NYT: WH reached out about adding Trump to Mount Rushmore
CNN
01:27
/
01:54
Now PlayingNYT: WH reached...
Washington (CNN)White House aides reached out to South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem last year about the process of adding additional presidents to Mount Rushmore, the New York Times reported.
According to a person familiar who spoke with the Times, Noem then greeted Trump when he arrived in the state for his July Fourth celebrations at the monument with a four-foot replica of Mount Rushmore that included his face.
Noem has noted before Trump's "dream" to have his face on Mount Rushmore, the Coolidge-era sculpture that features the 60-foot-tall faces of Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.
According to a 2018 interview with Noem, the two struck up a conversation about the sculpture in the Oval Office during their first meeting, where she initially thought he was joking. "I started laughing," she said. "He wasn't laughing, so he was totally serious."
"He said, 'Kristi, come on over here. Shake my hand, and so I shook his hand, and I said, 'Mr. President, you should come to South Dakota sometime. We have Mount Rushmore.' And he goes, 'Do you know it's my dream to have my face on Mount Rushmore?'"
Trump also toyed with the idea of adding himself to Mount Rushmore in 2017 at a campaign rally in Youngstown, Ohio.
During his July Fourth speech to supporters in South Dakota, Trump fiercely defended Mount Rushmore -- which activists and native tribal leaders have long criticized for its history and purpose -- saying it will "stand forever as an eternal tribute to our forefathers, and to our freedom."
"As we meet here tonight there is a growing danger that threatens every blessing our ancestors fought so hard for," Trump warned.
A White House official noted to the New York Times that Mount Rushmore is a federal, not a state monument.
PP
https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/09/politics ... index.html
New York Times: White House reached out to South Dakota governor about adding Trump to Mount Rushmore
By Jamie Ehrlich, CNN
Updated 4:07 PM ET, Sun August 9, 2020
NYT: WH reached out about adding Trump to Mount Rushmore
NOW PLAYING
NYT: WH reached out about adding Trump to Mount Rushmore
CNN
01:27
/
01:54
Now PlayingNYT: WH reached...
Washington (CNN)White House aides reached out to South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem last year about the process of adding additional presidents to Mount Rushmore, the New York Times reported.
According to a person familiar who spoke with the Times, Noem then greeted Trump when he arrived in the state for his July Fourth celebrations at the monument with a four-foot replica of Mount Rushmore that included his face.
Noem has noted before Trump's "dream" to have his face on Mount Rushmore, the Coolidge-era sculpture that features the 60-foot-tall faces of Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.
According to a 2018 interview with Noem, the two struck up a conversation about the sculpture in the Oval Office during their first meeting, where she initially thought he was joking. "I started laughing," she said. "He wasn't laughing, so he was totally serious."
"He said, 'Kristi, come on over here. Shake my hand, and so I shook his hand, and I said, 'Mr. President, you should come to South Dakota sometime. We have Mount Rushmore.' And he goes, 'Do you know it's my dream to have my face on Mount Rushmore?'"
Trump also toyed with the idea of adding himself to Mount Rushmore in 2017 at a campaign rally in Youngstown, Ohio.
During his July Fourth speech to supporters in South Dakota, Trump fiercely defended Mount Rushmore -- which activists and native tribal leaders have long criticized for its history and purpose -- saying it will "stand forever as an eternal tribute to our forefathers, and to our freedom."
"As we meet here tonight there is a growing danger that threatens every blessing our ancestors fought so hard for," Trump warned.
A White House official noted to the New York Times that Mount Rushmore is a federal, not a state monument.
PP
Re: Friday Jokes
Doesn't a candidate for Mont Rushmore have to be deceased?
Re: Friday Jokes
No allegations of 'fake news' yet then?
It's not 1st April so I'm puzzled.
The quiff would make it susceptible to damage in high winds - even a hazard to low flying aircraft.
Anyway it's one of the funniest jokes for a long time.
Thanks pp.
It's not 1st April so I'm puzzled.
The quiff would make it susceptible to damage in high winds - even a hazard to low flying aircraft.
Anyway it's one of the funniest jokes for a long time.
Thanks pp.
Re: Friday Jokes
Jim: I think he was volunteering / nominating Trump.
Personally, I think he should consider the"honor".
PP
Personally, I think he should consider the"honor".
PP
Re: Friday Jokes
WH reached out about adding Trump to Mount Rushmore
Taking the headline as written, I agree. Trump, not his image, should be added to Rushmore. Maybe up Lincoln's nose?
PP
Taking the headline as written, I agree. Trump, not his image, should be added to Rushmore. Maybe up Lincoln's nose?
PP