Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
There is a film on one of the subscription channels The Death of Stalin. I enjoyed it. They don't speak Cod Russian but English working class accents. Once you have the characters sorted it really brought the situation to life. A comedy, well a black one at least.
Can you have black comedies any more?
Can you have black comedies any more?
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
There was an English man, a French man and an Algerian in a twin engined prop flying over the Alps. They lost an engine and began drifting down.
The pilot said they would have to lighten the load.
The Arab opened the door threw out all the luggage and said Allah be praised.
Still the plane descended.
The English man opened the door, shouted God Save the Queen and jumped out.
Still the plane descended.
Next, the French man opened the door, threw out the Arab and shouted Viva La France
The pilot said they would have to lighten the load.
The Arab opened the door threw out all the luggage and said Allah be praised.
Still the plane descended.
The English man opened the door, shouted God Save the Queen and jumped out.
Still the plane descended.
Next, the French man opened the door, threw out the Arab and shouted Viva La France
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Re: Friday Jokes
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- barkingmad
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
One way of surviving the current World Madness is a contest like this;
Obviously university training works well...
Obviously university training works well...
Re: Friday Jokes
I think this concept could be adapted to a Zoom meeting.
Any takers?
PP
Any takers?
PP
Re: Friday Jokes
There was a councillor who was criticised for drinking a glass of beer during a recent ZOOM meeting of Newcastle City Council.
I see no problem with his action - would he have been criticised for drinking a glass of wine (apart from by his fellow councillors)?
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Re: Friday Jokes
I assume, then, it wasn't Newcastle Brown?G-CPTN wrote:There was a councillor who was criticised for drinking a glass of beer during a recent ZOOM meeting of Newcastle City Council.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
A bit like the BBC Radio 4 Extra's version of "The Little World of Don Camillo" a drama about the rivalry between Pepponi, a communist mayor, and Don Camillo, a priest in a postwar Italian town. No effort to "italianise" the accents but North of England accents insteadPontius Navigator wrote: ↑Thu Sep 24, 2020 8:38 amThere is a film on one of the subscription channels The Death of Stalin. I enjoyed it. They don't speak Cod Russian but English working class accents. Once you have the characters sorted it really brought the situation to life. A comedy, well a black one at least.
Can you have black comedies any more?
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
- Location: Gravity be the clue
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- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Might have been a lager, poof drink up there?
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER