Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Classic case of "don't count your chickens"...

[CharlieOneSix]

sneezed.JPG (52.22 KiB) Viewed 900 times

[ricardian]

What really happened to the Wizard of Oz

[ricardian]

Merde!

[Pontius Navigator]

Oh, another straight over my head

[fareastdriver]

Frogs? Froggies? Their language?

[Pontius Navigator]

Oh dear

[ricardian]

It's getting towards "that" time of year again

[Woody]

[ricardian]

Pure serendipity

[ricardian]

Unintended consequences

[ricardian]

A step too far...

[Pontius Navigator]

I don't like the stains, definitely not a shoe in

[PHXPhlyer]

I am in the market for a new toilet.
That one is definitely NOT on my list. No space.

PP

[Wodrick]

We are having the bathrooms refurbished, work starts on Wednesday, I wonder if it's not too late to change our mind ?

[PHXPhlyer]

Do shoe toilets come in pairs?
Just wondering.

PP

[ricardian]

Say it with flowers

[ricardian]

Forgotten men

[ricardian]

Best Description of Politics
A Russian Jew was finally allowed to emigrate to Israel.
At the Moscow airport, customs found a Lenin statue in his baggage and asked, "What is this?"
The man replied, "What is this? Wrong question comrade. You should have asked : Who is he? This is Comrade Lenin. He laid the foundations of socialism and created the future and prosperity of the Russian people. I am taking it with me as a memory of our dear hero."
The Russian customs officer let him go without further inspection.
At the Tel Aviv airport, the Israeli customs officer also asked our friend, "What is this?"
He replied, "What is this? Wrong question, Sir. You should be asking, 'Who is this?' This is Lenin, the bastard who caused me, a Jew, to leave Russia. I take this statue with me so I can curse him every day."
The Israeli customs officer said, "I apologize, Sir, you are cleared to go"
Settling into his new house, he put the statue on a table. To celebrate his immigration, he invited his friends and relatives to dinner.
One of his friends asked, "Who is this?"
He replied, "My dear friend, 'Who is this' is a wrong question. You should have asked, What is this? This is ten kilograms of solid gold that I managed to bring with me without paying any customs duty and tax."
MORAL:-
Politics is when you can tell the same ***** in different ways to fool different audiences, to allow you to look good in every way.

[ricardian]

Darwin Award "near miss"