Not at all... this was just the lead-in to:Pontius Navigator wrote: ↑Mon Aug 30, 2021 7:59 amAnyway as I joke thread I think we have strayed too far.
Friday Jokes
Re: Friday Jokes
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A Little VC10derness - https://www.VC10.net
A Little VC10derness - https://www.VC10.net
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Well that passed me by
Re: Friday Jokes
Me too.
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- Station Padre
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Re: Friday Jokes
might it be a response: fat Fred's owners being used to answering the same questions dayafterdayafterdayafter...
reminding me of an overheard exchange outside the greengrocer's t'other day.
Gusty wind. Shop's A-frame blackboard turned over by said wind. Very loud crash. Mother and child waiting for a bus both jump.
4-y-old child "Muuuuuuum"
Mother (Used to all those 'why' questions?)
"It's-a-blackboard-put-up-by-the-greengrocer-man-with-the-price-of-potatoes-and-carrots-and-apples-and-mushrooms-chalked-on-it-and-the-wind's-blowing-hard-and-it-blew-it-over-and-when-it-blew-over-it-made-a-very-loud-bang-and-made-you-jump AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW!
reminding me of an overheard exchange outside the greengrocer's t'other day.
Gusty wind. Shop's A-frame blackboard turned over by said wind. Very loud crash. Mother and child waiting for a bus both jump.
4-y-old child "Muuuuuuum"
Mother (Used to all those 'why' questions?)
"It's-a-blackboard-put-up-by-the-greengrocer-man-with-the-price-of-potatoes-and-carrots-and-apples-and-mushrooms-chalked-on-it-and-the-wind's-blowing-hard-and-it-blew-it-over-and-when-it-blew-over-it-made-a-very-loud-bang-and-made-you-jump AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW!
- Opsboi
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Fat Fred is a cat in, I suspect, a cat-petting cafe in Spain (I went to one in Valencia a couple of years back)
The post-it note refers to the fattest cat
I suspect the sign is in English because only tourists would constantly ask such inane Qs
The Spaniards couldn't care less
The post-it note refers to the fattest cat
I suspect the sign is in English because only tourists would constantly ask such inane Qs
The Spaniards couldn't care less
Re: Friday Jokes
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer...'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.' A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blonde woman timidly spoke up........... 'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!'
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer...'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.' A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blonde woman timidly spoke up........... 'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!'
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
+1, now that is funnyjimtherev wrote: ↑Tue Aug 31, 2021 10:04 pmmight it be a response: fat Fred's owners being used to answering the same questions dayafterdayafterdayafter...
reminding me of an overheard exchange outside the greengrocer's t'other day.
Gusty wind. Shop's A-frame blackboard turned over by said wind. Very loud crash. Mother and child waiting for a bus both jump.
4-y-old child "Muuuuuuum"
Mother (Used to all those 'why' questions?)
"It's-a-blackboard-put-up-by-the-greengrocer-man-with-the-price-of-potatoes-and-carrots-and-apples-and-mushrooms-chalked-on-it-and-the-wind's-blowing-hard-and-it-blew-it-over-and-when-it-blew-over-it-made-a-very-loud-bang-and-made-you-jump AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW!
- Ex-Ascot
- Test Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Makes sense.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Of Matt Hancock and his fund raising for the marathon
"You spoon-faced hat stand"
"You spoon-faced hat stand"
- Undried Plum
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- Snr FO
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Re: Friday Jokes
When I was at El Adem in the sixties it was normal for men to walk behind their wives beside the road. Eldest son in one hand, donkey in the other.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6032
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Or the milkman.
Or the mailman.
Or
Or
Or
PP
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6032
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- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER