Friday Jokes
- Undried Plum
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
There are some lovely pisstakes in the comments to this this bragging tweet by Bedfordshire Police. Press Show More Replies repeatedly to read them all.
Re: Friday Jokes
So, I bumped into my mate, 'One-armed Dave', yesterday. "Where are you off to?" I asked him.
"I'm going to change a light bulb." replied Dave.
"That's not going to be easy." I chuckled.
"I don't see why not." he said, "I've still got the receipt."
"I'm going to change a light bulb." replied Dave.
"That's not going to be easy." I chuckled.
"I don't see why not." he said, "I've still got the receipt."
Re: Friday Jokes
I went to see a old friend who works in a cotton mill. He wasn't there. He had gone for cotton.
Went back a week later, same thing. Gone for cotton.
A week later told he had died.
So went to the cemetery. On his head stone it said.
Gone but not for cotton.
Went back a week later, same thing. Gone for cotton.
A week later told he had died.
So went to the cemetery. On his head stone it said.
Gone but not for cotton.
Re: Friday Jokes
I've a distant cousin with one leg called Kevin....I don't know what his other leg is called...
Re: Friday Jokes
I went to the park today and played frisbee with my dog. It wasn't much fun.
I think I need a flatter dog.
I think I need a flatter dog.
Re: Friday Jokes
I went to an outdoor restaurant yesterday and it started raining.
Took me two hours to finish my soup.
Took me two hours to finish my soup.
Re: Friday Jokes
My neighbour was complaining that he can’t pay his water bill. I sent him a get well card.
Re: Friday Jokes
A contestant made a meringue on Masterchef, and when the crowd started clapping and cheering, the host said "That's unusual from an Australian audience - they normally boo meringues."
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
EA, that is awful.
Lol
Lol
Re: Friday Jokes
Yeah...I know...but could not help myself...
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
When a child says "Daddy, I want Mummy." it's the junior version of "I wish to speak to your supervisor."
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
EA seems you have too much time on your hands at the country clinic.
Re: Friday Jokes
Was a funny sort of day really....awoke (note NOT 'woke') in a thunderstorm....much rolling thunder....opened the 'country clinic', powered up the site....checked the weather radar, disconnected power to the site, took refuge in car as massive Thunderstorms barreled through. Took a phone call to go to a clinic by a river 20+km South, as they are sooo busy. Get there they had 10 patients all morning, and were unaware of my arrival. Call HQ, they send me 40km North, ok, that's almost 1/2 day done having still done essentially nothing. Claim the mileage, kick back attending to about 8 people, pack up and go home.EA seems you have too much time on your hands at the country clinic.
Arrive home to an email with a roster showing me at the 'Country Clinic' for the next 2 weeks! ....how good is this gig?
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Translated from the German: my doctor said to me this afternooon that "priapism isn't all its cracked up to be."
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Loved the cotton story Fliegs
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5993
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Just when you thought that merchandise couldn't get any tackier someone says "Hold my beer and watch this!
Not sure what the USA flag has to do with it. And since when has the name Jesus been trade-marked?
Not sure what the USA flag has to do with it. And since when has the name Jesus been trade-marked?
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER