Friday Jokes

[PHXPhlyer]

DId you know that leather is rated according to its texture? Cows from areas with abundant water sources have soft hides and are rated from "A" (good) to "C" (poor). However, hides from cows in hot, dry climates are almost invariably "D" hide rated.

Took two readings to get it.

PP

[bob2s]

It's been six months since I joined the gym and still no progress. So I am going there in person tomorrow to see what the problem is.

[Karearea]

^

[jimtherev]

My community choir tell me that I belong to the Eric Morcambe school of performance. I hadn't realised I was that good...

I would take it as more of a compliment than being compared with Les Dawson, Jim

Actually I always thought that Les Dawson was a brilliant pianist: must have been to move from absolutely right to outrageously wrong without missing a beat.

[tango15]

My community choir tell me that I belong to the Eric Morcambe school of performance. I hadn't realised I was that good...

I would take it as more of a compliment than being compared with Les Dawson, Jim

Actually I always thought that Les Dawson was a brilliant pianist: must have been to move from absolutely right to outrageously wrong without missing a beat.

Yes, fair comment JIm. I was being facetious really. I used to live quite near him at one point in my life, and he would sometimes come into one of the local pubs, where there was a piano, and tinkle the ivories, just for the fun of it. He was as funny offstage as he was on it.

[ricardian]

For the musicians amongst us:

[ricardian]

[CharlieOneSix]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TbaZ-q ... B1p1C/view

[Mrs Ex-Ascot]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TbaZ-q ... B1p1C/view

Can't open the link

[PHXPhlyer]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TbaZ-q ... B1p1C/view

Can't open the link

Worked for me here.
Must be an Efrikan thing.

PP

[FD2]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TbaZ-q ... B1p1C/view

Can't open the link

Sometimes these Google links take a long time to download - be patient. It's worth it!

[llondel]

It's just a joke about fruit

[OFSO]

Posed I'm sure.....

[ricardian]

Q: Hi, do you accept children under the age of 2 at the festival?
A: No, just credit card or cash, thanks.

[Ex-Ascot]

Posed I'm sure.....

We have it. Yes very funny but i agree with OFSO.

[tango15]

It's just a joke about fruit

"This is not just fruit, these are juicy melons." (with apologies to Marks and Spencer).

[ricardian]

Give a book with a difference:

[CharlieOneSix]

A snail goes into a car dealership and says he'd like to buy a fast sports car. The salesperson is a bit surprised but shows him a sleek, red sports car anyway.

The snail looks at it and says, "I want you to paint a large 'S' on it, on the roof, the sides, and the back." The salesperson, a little puzzled, asks, "Why do you want an 'S' painted all over the car?"

The snail replies, "When I drive down the street I want everyone to say, "Look at that S car go!'

[ricardian]

Give a book with a difference:

And in a similar vein:

[CharlieOneSix]

Mrs C16 tells me that the Farmyard Farts book is available on Amazon for around £6.60. I thought it was a clever artist’s joke!