Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
The wind was rough
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Opsboi
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Oh, the joy of being British and not having to learn that...
- tango15
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Re: Friday Jokes
I give you this in an attempt to prolong my life due to previous posts.
Re: Friday Jokes
I don't know if that will work.
I think the sanction might have already been put out.
PP
I think the sanction might have already been put out.
PP
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes
Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Nobody knows. They never get the house.
A: Nobody knows. They never get the house.
- Ex-Ascot
- Test Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Just heard a true amusing story which I hadn't heard before.
Our Late HMQ's car broke down on the Sandringham estate. She walked to one of the cottages to phone Sandringham House to get rescued. She couldn't remember the number so phoned directory enquires. They wouldn't give her the number because it was ex-directory.
Our Late HMQ's car broke down on the Sandringham estate. She walked to one of the cottages to phone Sandringham House to get rescued. She couldn't remember the number so phoned directory enquires. They wouldn't give her the number because it was ex-directory.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
- Woody
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Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Although George Wilkinson did very poorly at school and lacked many of the social graces, he turned out to be a gifted portrait artist and his fame grew very quickly. Soon people from all over the country were coming to him to have their portrait painted.
One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a gleaming new Rolls Royce, complete with chauffeur, and asked George if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request and it worried George. Then the lady told him that money was no object. In fact, she was willing to pay him up to £5,000. George thought for a while then asked the lady to wait while he conferred with Mildred, his wife. In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady, "Madam, it would be a pleasure to paint your portrait in the nude and the wife says that it's OK. However, I'll have to leave my socks on so that I have somewhere to wipe my brushes."
One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a gleaming new Rolls Royce, complete with chauffeur, and asked George if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request and it worried George. Then the lady told him that money was no object. In fact, she was willing to pay him up to £5,000. George thought for a while then asked the lady to wait while he conferred with Mildred, his wife. In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady, "Madam, it would be a pleasure to paint your portrait in the nude and the wife says that it's OK. However, I'll have to leave my socks on so that I have somewhere to wipe my brushes."
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Ex-Ascot
- Test Pilot
- Posts: 13217
- Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:16 am
- Location: Botswana but sometimes Greece
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Re: Friday Jokes
Another one.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
There are 10 kinds of people,
those who are familiar with binary and those who aren't.
those who are familiar with binary and those who aren't.
Re: Friday Jokes
There are 10 types of people, those who know binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect this joke to be in ternary.
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
We could keep this going till the Nth Of The World
- OFSO
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Re: Friday Jokes
Today's radiology humour.
Little African girl operator moving me on the table: "I'm afraid I have very cold hands"
Me "I noticed"
Her "well I did try to warm them"
Me "let me tell you, you failed"
Her "Sorry"
Me "don't ever think of becoming a milkmaid"
Laughter all round !
Lovely staff.
Little African girl operator moving me on the table: "I'm afraid I have very cold hands"
Me "I noticed"
Her "well I did try to warm them"
Me "let me tell you, you failed"
Her "Sorry"
Me "don't ever think of becoming a milkmaid"
Laughter all round !
Lovely staff.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6032
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Some birds produce an oil that helps their feathers to retain more body heat. This fact generated the well-known saying "the oily bird gets the warm".
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6032
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Human: Well, all the reasons that I did have, have now been replaced by the fact that you can talk
Human: Well, all the reasons that I did have, have now been replaced by the fact that you can talk
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18824
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Another true story...
Three men waiting today outside the radiotherapy dept, each with a glass of water, filling their bladders. In turn each is taken for a scan and returns.
- askin the first, how is it, ?
- rising but need more water.
- how is yours we asked the second ?
- almost there but need a bit more water.
- to the third, how's yours old chap ?
- it's going DOWN. Yes really.
Stunned silence.
"What the hell are you doing with it ?!"
Three men waiting today outside the radiotherapy dept, each with a glass of water, filling their bladders. In turn each is taken for a scan and returns.
- askin the first, how is it, ?
- rising but need more water.
- how is yours we asked the second ?
- almost there but need a bit more water.
- to the third, how's yours old chap ?
- it's going DOWN. Yes really.
Stunned silence.
"What the hell are you doing with it ?!"
Re: Friday Jokes
Point taken!
PP
PP