Puzzled
Puzzled
Dear Agony Aunt,
is there any decent way at all of indicating a guy you're not interested in romance - without him getting offended? There's one I thought is a good friend, and he's really an interesting personality, just not in the romantic way, and we used to study together and chat now and then over the decades and text and when my car broke down a couple of weeks ago and I joked it's not good for the budget, he offered to pay for it. Just pay, not a loan or anything. When I texted back - jokingly, I thought, to give him the chance to joke about it, too - it can't be done, my partner would get real suspicious, he just replied nothing.
So, what was I supposed to do?
Probes,
puzzled
is there any decent way at all of indicating a guy you're not interested in romance - without him getting offended? There's one I thought is a good friend, and he's really an interesting personality, just not in the romantic way, and we used to study together and chat now and then over the decades and text and when my car broke down a couple of weeks ago and I joked it's not good for the budget, he offered to pay for it. Just pay, not a loan or anything. When I texted back - jokingly, I thought, to give him the chance to joke about it, too - it can't be done, my partner would get real suspicious, he just replied nothing.
So, what was I supposed to do?
Probes,
puzzled
Re: Puzzled
Probably take the car to a garage for a professional assessment. You'll probably find that repairs are less than you expected but, if this is not the case, then you will need to do some thorough research on the make, model and price of a replacement vehicle taking note, of course, of the various features on each vehicle on your shortlist.
Hope that helps.
Hope that helps.
- dubbleyew eight
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Re: Puzzled
if you think women are puzzled what do you think it is like for men?
- Mrs Ex-Ascot
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Re: Puzzled
I must confess to being puzzled too! The only thing that I can think of is that he misunderstood your SMS and maybe thought that you thought that he was trying to chat you up. When you mentioned a significant other maybe he didn't realise that you were joking.
Perhaps a phone call could sort out the obvious misunderstanding and a platonic friendship restored?
Here's hoping for friendship soon to be restored.
Perhaps a phone call could sort out the obvious misunderstanding and a platonic friendship restored?
Here's hoping for friendship soon to be restored.
RAF 32 Sqn B Flt ; Twin Squirrels.
Re: Puzzled
Don't ask me. I'm on the autism spectrum - Asperger's, and don't understand anything about NT's - neurotypicals. NT's are non-aspies. You're are a total mystery to me. Just think you're all a pretty weird lot.
Alison
Alison
Rev Mother Bene Gesserit.
Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)
Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)
- Mrs Ex-Ascot
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Re: Puzzled
Alison I suspect that you are more normal than the rest of us!
RAF 32 Sqn B Flt ; Twin Squirrels.
Re: Puzzled
Thank you, Mrs. Ex-Ascot, so do I - hope the friendship (platonic, I hoped and still do) will be restored, just don't know how.
And thanks, Sisemen, I hope it's the classic male reply - yes, the car's ok and fixed and no probs, I'm being taken care of.
And of course, thanks, D8 - that was of real help, youknow!
Let's look at it from the other end (=male perspective) - if you offer a female friend to generously pay her car repair bill, what are your expectations?
(P.S and to stress once more - the puzzlement is about the offer, not car nor money).
And thanks, Sisemen, I hope it's the classic male reply - yes, the car's ok and fixed and no probs, I'm being taken care of.
And of course, thanks, D8 - that was of real help, youknow!
Let's look at it from the other end (=male perspective) - if you offer a female friend to generously pay her car repair bill, what are your expectations?
(P.S and to stress once more - the puzzlement is about the offer, not car nor money).
- 500N
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Re: Puzzled
"Let's look at it from the other end (=male perspective) - if you offer a female friend to generously pay her car repair bill,
what are your expectations?
None.
In a friendship at the moment but the woman misunderstood something I said and it caused no end of problems
between us until clarified.
Be up front with the guy, call it how it is so you are on the same level.
what are your expectations?
None.
In a friendship at the moment but the woman misunderstood something I said and it caused no end of problems
between us until clarified.
Be up front with the guy, call it how it is so you are on the same level.
Re: Puzzled
At least you got the joke Probes - a little riff on the archetypal:
Dear Jim,
I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start I walked back to our home to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter.
They announced that the affair had been going on for two years and that they were deeply in love.
Can you help me I'm desperate!
Dear reader:
The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines, if this is not the cause its usually the alternator.
Hope my advice helps
Jim
....and some more in the same vein - perhaps we need a separate thread
Q. My husband continually asks me to perform Oral Sex on him.
A. Do as he says. Semen can help you lose weight and makes your skin glow. Most men know this and his offer to let you do this is a totally self-less act which shows that he loves you. Even better, perform it twice a day then cook him a nice meal.
Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must play with it, either do it in your own time – or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to film yourself whilst doing this – and then present the film to your husband as a birthday present. To ease your guilt perform oral sex on him then cook him a delicious meal.
Q. My husband stays out late most evenings with his friends.
A. This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The male is, by nature, a hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Nothing will rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time for you to clean the house, too)! See how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home? The best thing to do when he returns is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him then cook him a nice meal.
Q. My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep before giving me one.
A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you forgot to cook him a nice meal?
Q. My husband wants a threesome with my best-friend and me.
A. Clearly, your husband can't get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing – your best-friend. Far from being an issue, this could bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old university friends involved as well – the more the better. If you are still not quite sure, then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training! Foreplay to a man is both time consuming and stressful. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no strings attached. Requests for foreplay only indicate that you do not care for your man as much as he thinks you should. Stop being so selfish! To make things up to him, offer to perform oral sex on him - then cook him a nice meal.
Dear Jim,
I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start I walked back to our home to find my husband in bed with our 19 year old babysitter.
They announced that the affair had been going on for two years and that they were deeply in love.
Can you help me I'm desperate!
Dear reader:
The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines, if this is not the cause its usually the alternator.
Hope my advice helps
Jim
....and some more in the same vein - perhaps we need a separate thread
Q. My husband continually asks me to perform Oral Sex on him.
A. Do as he says. Semen can help you lose weight and makes your skin glow. Most men know this and his offer to let you do this is a totally self-less act which shows that he loves you. Even better, perform it twice a day then cook him a nice meal.
Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must play with it, either do it in your own time – or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to film yourself whilst doing this – and then present the film to your husband as a birthday present. To ease your guilt perform oral sex on him then cook him a delicious meal.
Q. My husband stays out late most evenings with his friends.
A. This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The male is, by nature, a hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Nothing will rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time for you to clean the house, too)! See how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home? The best thing to do when he returns is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him then cook him a nice meal.
Q. My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep before giving me one.
A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you forgot to cook him a nice meal?
Q. My husband wants a threesome with my best-friend and me.
A. Clearly, your husband can't get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing – your best-friend. Far from being an issue, this could bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old university friends involved as well – the more the better. If you are still not quite sure, then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training! Foreplay to a man is both time consuming and stressful. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no strings attached. Requests for foreplay only indicate that you do not care for your man as much as he thinks you should. Stop being so selfish! To make things up to him, offer to perform oral sex on him - then cook him a nice meal.
Re: Puzzled
OK, Sisemen, your kind and considerate post totally clarifies the issue (of male interest spheres, if I may say so). Obviously there will never be an oral reply, not by me at least.
Just to be sure, you know.
Just to be sure, you know.
- rgbrock1
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Re: Puzzled
500N wrote:"Let's look at it from the other end (=male perspective) - if you offer a female friend to generously pay her car repair bill,
what are your expectations?
None.
If I offered to pay the car repair bill for a female friend I would expect, at a minimum, some poo-tang baby... yeah.
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- dubbleyew eight
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Re: Puzzled
you all are starting to get me worried.
I gave a car to a mate of mine after his car was stuffed. (it hit a crushed car dropped off the back of a semi laden with crushed cars)
does that make me queer?
btw probes no woman needs ever put anything in her mouth that she doesnt want to.
I'm amazed at the stupidity of guys that want oral sex. close your mouth with enough force to get the teeth together and it is all over for them.
dont they realise this?
I gave a car to a mate of mine after his car was stuffed. (it hit a crushed car dropped off the back of a semi laden with crushed cars)
does that make me queer?
btw probes no woman needs ever put anything in her mouth that she doesnt want to.
I'm amazed at the stupidity of guys that want oral sex. close your mouth with enough force to get the teeth together and it is all over for them.
dont they realise this?
- rgbrock1
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Re: Puzzled
dubbleyew eight wrote:btw probes no woman needs ever put anything in her mouth that she doesnt want to.
I'm amazed at the stupidity of guys that want oral sex. close your mouth with enough force to get the teeth together and it is all over for them.
dont they realise this?
I'll take my chances.
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- dubbleyew eight
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Re: Puzzled
So, what was I supposed to do?
ok in all seriousness.
it may have been better to send the last message as "well thanks for the offer but hubby will probably sort it out for me".
now the thing is that men are hormonally driven. the more distant the last sexual encounter the more the hormones drive the guy to think about it.
so no matter how innocent the encounter the guy will in the back of his mind be thinking of the possibility.
that is all normal.
you didnt do anything wrong. he didnt do anything wrong. so dont sweat the small stuff. just get on with life.
- msdad2
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Re: Puzzled
Sisemen wrote:Probably take the car to a garage for a professional assessment. You'll probably find that repairs are less than you expected but, if this is not the case, then you will need to do some thorough research on the make, model and price of a replacement vehicle taking note, of course, of the various features on each vehicle on your shortlist.
Hope that helps.
I hate Signatures!
Re: Puzzled
if you offer a female friend to generously pay her car repair bill, what are your expectations?
Probes chances are - since he's a long time frend - he was just being a nice guy. I've done it meself without expecting any pootang. Hoping perhaps, but not expecting.
- OFSO
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Re: Puzzled
if you offer a female friend to generously pay her car repair bill, what are your expectations?
I think someone should publish an Expectations List based on the size of job.
Starting with
1) Changing interior light bulb
And ending with
500) Installing a 427 Chevy big-block, with nitro injection, upgrading brakes & suspension, modifying wells to take 22" rubber and shipping it to the Gas Monkey Garage to be painted green.
I think someone should publish an Expectations List based on the size of job.
Starting with
1) Changing interior light bulb
And ending with
500) Installing a 427 Chevy big-block, with nitro injection, upgrading brakes & suspension, modifying wells to take 22" rubber and shipping it to the Gas Monkey Garage to be painted green.
Re: Puzzled
Yeah, Slash - chances are - but don't hold your breath for it. Anyway, looks like he's somewhat communicating again - no reply to the e-mail, though - so, maybe it'll just be forgotten. And I'll use the 'arms-length' rule (now, who was the Ger politician to introduce it?).
Life is interesting.
And, OFSO, good idea . Actually it seems money is less worth than some skills these days? (I wouldn't need help with light bulbs, though).
Life is interesting.
And, OFSO, good idea . Actually it seems money is less worth than some skills these days? (I wouldn't need help with light bulbs, though).
- dubbleyew eight
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Re: Puzzled
probes you should be chuffed not fearful. life in the old girl yet and all that.
- rgbrock1
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Re: Puzzled
dubbleyew eight wrote:probes you should be chuffed not fearful. life in the old girl yet and all that.
Old? Girl? Something tells me you just made #1 on probes' ***** list.
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