Friday Jokes

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ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5201 Post by ricardian » Thu May 21, 2020 10:14 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5202 Post by ricardian » Thu May 21, 2020 1:03 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5203 Post by ricardian » Thu May 21, 2020 2:45 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5204 Post by ricardian » Fri May 22, 2020 12:09 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5205 Post by ricardian » Fri May 22, 2020 4:50 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5206 Post by Woody » Sat May 23, 2020 6:44 am

BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women
Can the last person to leave,please feed the cat.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5207 Post by Capetonian » Sat May 23, 2020 7:05 am

I am not sure why Woody has put this under 'jokes'. It sounds to me more like a statement of fact, or for the uninitiated, a set of instructions.
"Religion is the advertising campaign for something that doesn't exist."
The late Clive James

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5208 Post by Woody » Sat May 23, 2020 7:10 am

Capetonian wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 7:05 am
I am not sure why Woody has put this under 'jokes'. It sounds to me more like a statement of fact, or for the uninitiated, a set of instructions.
Wasn’t totally convinced that I should put it here, but as long as MrsWoody doesn’t find out, think I’m safe :D
Can the last person to leave,please feed the cat.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5209 Post by ricardian » Sat May 23, 2020 11:29 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5210 Post by Pontius Navigator » Sat May 23, 2020 12:36 pm

Woody, the ONLY reason the woman does those things is that they not a vital component of the male BBQ. The only essentials are the meat, the beer, and a bun. The only thing that should be red is rare steak and the only purpose of the green stuff is to feed the women.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5211 Post by ian16th » Sat May 23, 2020 12:56 pm

Wine improves with age
I improve with wine :YMPARTY:

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5212 Post by Woody » Sat May 23, 2020 2:00 pm

When I can get back to Somerset West a ZA mate has promised to show me how to Braai properly :o)
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5213 Post by 1DC » Sat May 23, 2020 2:16 pm

GrandMa... You know my nipples are as hot this morning as they were fifty years ago.
GrandPa... I'm not surprised, one is in your coffee and the other is in your porridge..

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5214 Post by ricardian » Sat May 23, 2020 2:35 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5215 Post by llondel » Sat May 23, 2020 7:09 pm

A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.

Oof.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5216 Post by ricardian » Sat May 23, 2020 7:50 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5217 Post by Hydromet » Sat May 23, 2020 10:39 pm

1DC wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 2:16 pm
GrandMa... You know my nipples are as hot this morning as they were fifty years ago.
GrandPa... I'm not surprised, one is in your coffee and the other is in your porridge..
Seeing as it's our 51st wedding anniversary today, I thought I might show this to SWMBO. Then I realised, I haven't survived this long by being that stupid!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5218 Post by Wodrick » Sat May 23, 2020 10:54 pm

Long time - congratulations.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5219 Post by ricardian » Sat May 23, 2020 11:23 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5220 Post by Hydromet » Sun May 24, 2020 12:32 am

Thanks Wodders. Time flies, it only seems like 60.

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