Friday Jokes
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13550
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
A Canadian pint is 20 oz, should the drink, by some chance, ever get put in a glass
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
- Location: Gravity be the clue
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Better informed but I am not sure that my life is improved or the knowledge useful.FD2 wrote: ↑Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:52 pmHere you are PN. I'm sure you'll grow to love them.
https://www.fuzzfaced.net/ac-dc-the-jack-meaning.html
So we get V.D. Clap...
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10341
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 60
Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10341
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 60
Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10341
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 60
Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6052
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Tom: I'm addicted to buying old Beatles records.
Bill: Sounds like you need help.
Tom: No, I've already got that one.
Bill: Sounds like you need help.
Tom: No, I've already got that one.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13550
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Bill: That one keeps going round and round
Tom: No, I've got Revolver too.
Tom: No, I've got Revolver too.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6052
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Magician: I can make anything disappear.
Tom: (holding cup) do it to my tea.
Magician: (waves hand) done!
om: (holding cup) It didn't work.
Tom: (holding cup) do it to my tea.
Magician: (waves hand) done!
om: (holding cup) It didn't work.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Capt
- Posts: 1026
- Joined: Fri Sep 04, 2015 1:27 pm
- Location: Morayshire Scotland
- Gender:
- Age: 82
Re: Friday Jokes
Wot did the magician say then? I feel we should be told. He must have had a sharp riposte up his sleeve. Shirley?
The Ancient Mariner
The Ancient Mariner
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18869
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
I sat on one of those once, very painful it was.
- Ex-Ascot
- Test Pilot
- Posts: 13257
- Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:16 am
- Location: Botswana but sometimes Greece
- Gender:
- Age: 68
Re: Friday Jokes
Another of my collection.
- Attachments
-
- Baby.jpeg (75.79 KiB) Viewed 921 times
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6052
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island.
He had lost his boat, his livelihood, and his possessions.
He was trudging around the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach.
Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps) he rubbed it. POOF! A Genie appeared - a Jewish one.
"Vey!" he said. "Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin in that thing, my life and soul ! What can I do for you, my boy ?"
The Jamaican asked if the Genie granted wishes.
"Wishes, Schmishes! Course I do. I'll grant you two wishes, used to be three but I gotta think about my margins," the genie said.
"Well," said the Jamaican after some consideration, "I'd like to be white and surrounded by women."
"No problem," said the Genie.
POOF! The Jamaican was transformed into a tampon.
Moral: Never do business with a Jewish Genie-there's always a string attached.
He had lost his boat, his livelihood, and his possessions.
He was trudging around the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach.
Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps) he rubbed it. POOF! A Genie appeared - a Jewish one.
"Vey!" he said. "Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin in that thing, my life and soul ! What can I do for you, my boy ?"
The Jamaican asked if the Genie granted wishes.
"Wishes, Schmishes! Course I do. I'll grant you two wishes, used to be three but I gotta think about my margins," the genie said.
"Well," said the Jamaican after some consideration, "I'd like to be white and surrounded by women."
"No problem," said the Genie.
POOF! The Jamaican was transformed into a tampon.
Moral: Never do business with a Jewish Genie-there's always a string attached.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6052
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Rishi Sunak considers sending fighter aircraft to Ukraine in return for a lorry-load of lettuce, cucumbers & tomatoes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6052
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Engineers have made a car that can run on parsley. Now they are hoping to make buses that run on thyme
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18869
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
A sage quote!
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10341
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 60
Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13550
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Salad Shortage Latest:
"It's just the tip of the iceberg"
says UK farmer
(real quote, actually, and he wasn't trying to be punny)
"It's just the tip of the iceberg"
says UK farmer
(real quote, actually, and he wasn't trying to be punny)
Re: Friday Jokes
Let us all think about that for a moment.Fox3WheresMyBanana wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 2:14 pmSalad Shortage Latest:
"It's just the tip of the iceberg"
says UK farmer
(real quote, actually, and he wasn't trying to be punny)
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
- Location: Gravity be the clue
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
That beet the previous post
Re: Friday Jokes
I don't know why men go to bars to try and find women. Go to Primark, the female to male ratio is like 25 to 1and they're already looking for crap they don't need.